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A man and a woman were having dinner in a fine restaurant. Their waitress, taking another order at a table a few paces away noticed that the man was slowly sliding down his chair and under the table, with the woman acting unconcerned.
The waitress watched as the man slid all the way down his chair and out of sight under the table. Still, the woman dining across from him appeared calm and unruffled, apparently unaware that her dining companion had disappeared.
After the waitress finished taking the order, she came over to the table and said to the woman, 'Pardon me, ma'am, but I think your husband just slid under the table.'
The woman calmly looked up at her and replied firmly, 'No he didn't. He just walked in the door.'
The minister of a city church enjoyed a drink now and then, but his passion was for peach brandy. One of his congregants would make him a bottle each Christmas. One year, when the minister went to visit his friend, hoping for his usual Christmas present, he was not disappointed, but his friend told him that he had to thank him for the peach brandy from the pulpit the next Sunday.
In his haste to get the bottle, the minister hurriedly agreed and left. So the next Sunday the minister suddenly remembered that he had to make a public announcement that he was being supplied alcohol from a member of the church. That morning, his friend sat in the church with a grin on his face, waiting to see the minister's embarrassment.
The minister climbed into the pulpit and said, "Before we begin, I have an announcement. I would very much like to thank my friend, Joe, for his kind gift of peaches ... and for the spirit in which they were given!"
A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is completely lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts: "Excuse me, I was wondering if can you tell me where I am? I seem to be lost."
The man below is surprised for a moment, and then replies "Yes, that's easy, you're in a hot air balloon, hovering about 25 feet above this field."
"You must work in Information Technology, most probably a programmer." says the balloonist.
"I do, and I am," replies the man, looking mildly surprised, "How did you deduce that?."
"Well" says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but it's of no actual use to anyone."
The man below replies, "Ah, you must work in business."
"Yes, I do" replies the balloonist, "but how did you know that?"
"Well", says the man, "You don't know where you are, or where you're going, but you expect me to be able to help. You're in the same position you were before we met, but now it's my fault."
The waitress watched as the man slid all the way down his chair and out of sight under the table. Still, the woman dining across from him appeared calm and unruffled, apparently unaware that her dining companion had disappeared.
After the waitress finished taking the order, she came over to the table and said to the woman, 'Pardon me, ma'am, but I think your husband just slid under the table.'
The woman calmly looked up at her and replied firmly, 'No he didn't. He just walked in the door.'
The minister of a city church enjoyed a drink now and then, but his passion was for peach brandy. One of his congregants would make him a bottle each Christmas. One year, when the minister went to visit his friend, hoping for his usual Christmas present, he was not disappointed, but his friend told him that he had to thank him for the peach brandy from the pulpit the next Sunday.
In his haste to get the bottle, the minister hurriedly agreed and left. So the next Sunday the minister suddenly remembered that he had to make a public announcement that he was being supplied alcohol from a member of the church. That morning, his friend sat in the church with a grin on his face, waiting to see the minister's embarrassment.
The minister climbed into the pulpit and said, "Before we begin, I have an announcement. I would very much like to thank my friend, Joe, for his kind gift of peaches ... and for the spirit in which they were given!"
A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is completely lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts: "Excuse me, I was wondering if can you tell me where I am? I seem to be lost."
The man below is surprised for a moment, and then replies "Yes, that's easy, you're in a hot air balloon, hovering about 25 feet above this field."
"You must work in Information Technology, most probably a programmer." says the balloonist.
"I do, and I am," replies the man, looking mildly surprised, "How did you deduce that?."
"Well" says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but it's of no actual use to anyone."
The man below replies, "Ah, you must work in business."
"Yes, I do" replies the balloonist, "but how did you know that?"
"Well", says the man, "You don't know where you are, or where you're going, but you expect me to be able to help. You're in the same position you were before we met, but now it's my fault."
