I was standing at the bar one night, minding my own business. This fat ugly chick came up behind me, grabbed my butt and said, "You're kind of cute, you gotta a phone number?" I said, "Yea, you gotta pen?" She said "Yea", I got a pen". I said, "You better get back in it before the farmer misses you". Cost me 6 stitches.
Cowboy: "Give me 3 packets of condoms, please."
Cashier: "Do you need a paper bag with that, sir?"
Cowboy: "Nah.. She's purty good lookin'....."
I was talking to a girl in the bar last night. She said,
"If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right."
I said, "If I did all that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you."
I was telling a girl in the pub about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling her boobs.
"Really" she said, "Go on then...try."
After about thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose patience and said, "Come on, what day was I born?"
I said, "Yesterday."
I got caught taking a pee in the swimming pool today.
The lifeguard shouted at me so loud, I nearly fell in.
I went to the pub last night and saw a fat chick dancing on a table. I said, "Great legs."
The girl giggled and said, "Do you really think so."
I said, "Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now."
Cashier: "Do you need a paper bag with that, sir?"
Cowboy: "Nah.. She's purty good lookin'....."
I was talking to a girl in the bar last night. She said,
"If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right."
I said, "If I did all that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you."
I was telling a girl in the pub about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling her boobs.
"Really" she said, "Go on then...try."
After about thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose patience and said, "Come on, what day was I born?"
I said, "Yesterday."
I got caught taking a pee in the swimming pool today.
The lifeguard shouted at me so loud, I nearly fell in.
I went to the pub last night and saw a fat chick dancing on a table. I said, "Great legs."
The girl giggled and said, "Do you really think so."
I said, "Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now."
