Soooo....this just happened..

[Jericurl]

I've been sick the last few days.
Like, spend an inordinate amount of time sleeping and/or in the bathroom sick.
I've felt exhausted and every joint in my body hurts.

For the first time in 4 days, Manthing went to bed before me.
I'm actually not sleepy and I'm starting to finally come round out of this sickness. Let me preface this by saying, I was half raised in the ghetto. If I see people running, I'm gonna be running too. I am not a hero and I will never be the one to go and check out an odd noise. In a break in scenario, you would find me with my back to a corner and armed to the teeth waiting on the monster/burglar/whatever.

So....the cats are acting weird.
Creeping around the house, one is sitting directly in front of the front door with the fur on his back raised up.
All I can hear are the normal, comforting sounds of night in the ghetto...cars going by, an occasional bass thumping of a car, further away a siren...
no real cause for alarm but these little *******s in fur coats have me nervous and jittery. I get up and go into the kitchen to get a glass of water. One of the cats follows me and then stares intently at the window with a low growl. In a rare display of badassedry, I grab a butcher knife, march over to the window and jerk the ripcord for the blinds. Then promptly make the most unladylike noise ever heard because there is a FACE staring back at me.
Yeah...my own face.

Also, the high pitched female scream ie hollywood starlet noise....yeah no. My vocal cords dropped it into bass/low baritone and it sounded like "Uughhh, uugh."

So glad Manthing missed this....

 

[Runningwolf]

That is too funny! I won't be visiting unannounced anytime after dark.

 

[grapeman]

Sounds like you had a close encounter with the unknown! Scary. Good thing the face didn't come through the window at you.

Hope you are feeling better now. You may need to look into the post I made yesterday on how to prevent sickness.
http://www.winemakingtalk.com/forum/f128/organist-43442/

Glad you are back.

 

[Pumpkinman]

Too Funny! It kind of sounds like my wife, the one rare morning that I was actually sleeping, she wakes me saying "Get your gun, I heard a loud bang downstairs", I didn't even have time to process this info when she bolts past me, grabs my gun and goes flying down to the cellar......
I managed to make my way to the basement to find my wife putting something in one of the window frames to "secure it"...hmmmmmm.... it was real windy, a branch fell and hit the window, hence the noise.
I had to ask her what in Gods name did she plan on doing with my 45? Did she know if it was loaded? (it always is)...Did she know if it was chambered?...(it always is), well...no on all accounts, but she would have looked tough until the imaginary burglar would have realized that she didn't have a clue about using the gun......gheesh....leave my toys alone next time...lol

 

[JohnT]

Jeri,

Hope that you are feeling better..

I had an experience much like this..

I grew up in a rather rural area. I know that you might find this hard to believe in New jersey, but we used to have to drive 4 miles just to get our mail. Quiet is a way of life for me and noise is what puts me on edge.

It was much like what you see in so many tv shows. Wife wakes me up with "John I hear a noise". Just as I was about to say "it's nothing", I hear a loud thump. There was no mistaking that someone was in the house.

Dashing out of bed, I looked around for some type of weapon to defend my wife and my home (I do not own a gun). The first thing I see is our wedding album. I went to grab it thinking it is big and heavy and might serve as some sort of club, but I put it down when the MRS said "what are you going to do? bore the burglar to death?".

I then spotted a broom handle. Figuring that was just about the best thing in the house in the form of a weapon, I exited the bedroom with my impromptu quarter-staff. Outside of the bedroom, I continued to hear noises which were coming from the bathroom. There was no mistaking that there WAS a stranger in my house and he WAS using my bathroom!

Smacking the broom handle against the bathroom door, I yelled "Come out of there!"

The burglar then said "I'll be out in a minute". My thinking at this time was that this must be the most gutsy burglar of all time. Imagine, robbing a house, using the bathroom, then asking the homeowner to wait his turn!!!

As it turns out, It was my best friend who was up from Florida. This pal of mine has a photographic memory. It is uncanny and very frustrating how he can remember the smallest details from years ago. 8 months prior, he had asked to stay with us while he came up to NJ for a wedding. The problem is that he just assumed that I could remember this 8 months later and never said another word about it.

When he finally came out of the bathroom, we laughed and laughed... Even while I was choking the S@#T out of him.

 

[grapeman]

Jericurl this reminds me of the Hillbilly Bob show where the guy pitches his Peeping-Tom halloween product to Bob. It is a fake face and hands you put in a window to make it look like somebody is peering in your window. If you saw that in your window you surely would have screamed!

 

[dangerdave]

I grew up in a rural farming community. Quiet. Country. And undiversified. I still live in the same area. The first thing you need to know about living here is that everyone has guns in their houses. Everyone. Either for hunting or self-defense, or both.

Which leads to the well-established conclusion that if you are breaking into someone's house here, you can expect to be shot. Period.

NOTE: The burglery rate in these parts is virtually negative. ::

 

[the_rayway]

Oh Jeri! That's just too funny.
The one time I thought there was a burgler in our house, I urgently whispered to my husband that I thought someone was in the house and all he said was "well, go and see who it is".

I took my hunting knife with me, but it was just one of the neighbours who had a bit too much to drink and had decided to camp out on our verandah.

Still felt like my heart was going to spring right out of my chest!

 

[LoneStarLori]

Ah Jeri, that made me laugh out loud. Too dang funny.

I thought it probably scared the shat out of you, but it sounds like that ship had already sailed.

 

[Jericurl]

I thought it probably scared the shat out of you, but it sounds like that ship had already sailed.

Lol. Quite right. By then there was nothing left at all.

I can laugh about it now, but it took a solid hour for my heart to stop beating 100 miles an hour.

 

[JohnT]

It is just like I have always said... No good can come from washing windows..

If your windows were dirty, then you might not have seen your reflection.