Tom_S
Junior Member
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- Oct 31, 2012
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Recently a post mentioned Boone's Farm and it got me to thinking about this product which is errantly labeled "wine." Now to those who aren't in the know, Boone's Farm is a very cheap product which I was surprised to see sold in local grocery stores (liquor is not allowed to be sold in grocery stores in my state) until I learned that the alcohol content is about 3.2% ABV, same as beer. Technically it contains a small amount of apple wine with apparently a lot of water, high fructose corn syrup, and artificial flavors. This stuff is very sweet, barely a hint of alcohol flavor, and comes in various flavors like strawberry, peach, and blue Hawaiian. That's right, a blue wine. Plus, you know it's a cheap wine when it says "Refrigerate after opening" on the label. Boone's Farm is to wine as Kool-Aid is to, well, wine.
Every so often when I'm at a gathering and the subject of wine comes up, there will be someone who says, "Yes, I like wine." When asked the question of what kind of wine they like, the response is, "Boone's Farm Strawberry Hill." Sometimes I have to bite my lip really hard to keep from telling them that's not wine. My sister-in-law once told me that she didn't like my homemade wine because "it tastes like real wine and not like Boone's Farm." I didn't know whether or not to be grateful or offended.
I tend to refer to Boone's Farm as either "Kool-Aid wine" because it's basically just Kool-Aid with a little bit of alcohol added, or "Teeny-bopper wine" because it's mainly drank by teenagers who like to drink half the bottle and then brag about how drunk they were that night, or to give it to their girlfriends so they might have a chance getting into their pants. But I think I've learned the secret about Boone's Farm. The true purpose of Boone's Farm is as a training wine. Think about it, we use training wheels on bicycles to help teach kids how to ride. Young girls have training bras to help them learn... well I'm not sure what it is but I'm sure they learn something.
Most people who are not serious wine drinkers tend to like only sweet wine. To their untrained palate, dry wines are horribly awful and they haven't yet learned to distinguish the complex flavors present. As time goes on and they get used to trying many different kinds of wine, they tend to start going toward less sweet and more dry wine. Certainly a teenager sitting in the middle of a field isn't going to whip out a bottle of Cabernet Sauvingnon. He's going to pull out the bottle of Boone's that his older brother bought for him. It tastes just like Kool Aid and he can lie about what a buzz he's got. Non-wine drinkers who want to act sophisticated can twist the cap, pour out some Boone's into a wine glass, and pretend that the bouquet is a complex blend of grapes from France. Later, if they actually do become wine drinkers and start drinking real wine, they'll at least have had their start with pretending to have a feel about what wine drinking is all about. They might make a few faux pas if they ask for some Boones Farm Fuzzy Navel instead of a Pinot Noir, or show up to a wine tasting with a bottle of Boone's Strawberry Daiquiri, but give them time and they'll figure it out. The truly sad people are the ones who never graduate from drinking Boone's.
So that's one wine snobs' take on the purpose of Boone's Farm. Kool-Aid wine, Teeny-bopper wine, or training wine, this bottom-shelf stuff will always be known as the wine people who don't like wine drink.
Every so often when I'm at a gathering and the subject of wine comes up, there will be someone who says, "Yes, I like wine." When asked the question of what kind of wine they like, the response is, "Boone's Farm Strawberry Hill." Sometimes I have to bite my lip really hard to keep from telling them that's not wine. My sister-in-law once told me that she didn't like my homemade wine because "it tastes like real wine and not like Boone's Farm." I didn't know whether or not to be grateful or offended.
I tend to refer to Boone's Farm as either "Kool-Aid wine" because it's basically just Kool-Aid with a little bit of alcohol added, or "Teeny-bopper wine" because it's mainly drank by teenagers who like to drink half the bottle and then brag about how drunk they were that night, or to give it to their girlfriends so they might have a chance getting into their pants. But I think I've learned the secret about Boone's Farm. The true purpose of Boone's Farm is as a training wine. Think about it, we use training wheels on bicycles to help teach kids how to ride. Young girls have training bras to help them learn... well I'm not sure what it is but I'm sure they learn something.
Most people who are not serious wine drinkers tend to like only sweet wine. To their untrained palate, dry wines are horribly awful and they haven't yet learned to distinguish the complex flavors present. As time goes on and they get used to trying many different kinds of wine, they tend to start going toward less sweet and more dry wine. Certainly a teenager sitting in the middle of a field isn't going to whip out a bottle of Cabernet Sauvingnon. He's going to pull out the bottle of Boone's that his older brother bought for him. It tastes just like Kool Aid and he can lie about what a buzz he's got. Non-wine drinkers who want to act sophisticated can twist the cap, pour out some Boone's into a wine glass, and pretend that the bouquet is a complex blend of grapes from France. Later, if they actually do become wine drinkers and start drinking real wine, they'll at least have had their start with pretending to have a feel about what wine drinking is all about. They might make a few faux pas if they ask for some Boones Farm Fuzzy Navel instead of a Pinot Noir, or show up to a wine tasting with a bottle of Boone's Strawberry Daiquiri, but give them time and they'll figure it out. The truly sad people are the ones who never graduate from drinking Boone's.
So that's one wine snobs' take on the purpose of Boone's Farm. Kool-Aid wine, Teeny-bopper wine, or training wine, this bottom-shelf stuff will always be known as the wine people who don't like wine drink.
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