My wife is back on the warpath again! She was up for making a sex movie last night and all I said is that I would like auditions for her part.
My wife packed my bags and told me to get out. As I walked out the door, she screamed, "I hop you die a long, slow, miserable death!" I replied, "Oh, so now you want me to stay?!"
I installed a strobe light in the bedroom. It makes my wife look like she is actually moving during sex.