bearpaw8491
Senior Member
Sure strikes terror in my heart!!!! Imagine being "licked to death" !!
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Boatboy24
No longer a newbie, but still clueless.
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That did look like seriously mean dog
winemanden
Senior Member
When I was a young chap, I used to deliver milk. Our truck used to stop at the bottom of a lane. There, waiting for us each day, was a wee Scotty dog, He used to wag his arse off when I jumped out and grabbed a couple of pint bottles off the truck. He ran alongside me up to the house, where I put the milk on the back step. He was a reverse watch-dog! He would let me in, but the perverse little sod wouldn't let me out. I had to trick him, or else get sore ankles.
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An older man rushes into the confessional...
"Father, I am 62 and I met two stewardesses in a bar last night. I struck up a conversation with them, took them back to my apartment and made love with both of them twice!"
The priest replies, "It is good that you have come. How long has it been since your last confession?"
The man replies, "I have never been to confession. I am Jewish."
The shocked priest says, "Well, why are you telling me?"
The man replies, "Telling you?! I'm telling everybody!!!"
"Father, I am 62 and I met two stewardesses in a bar last night. I struck up a conversation with them, took them back to my apartment and made love with both of them twice!"
The priest replies, "It is good that you have come. How long has it been since your last confession?"
The man replies, "I have never been to confession. I am Jewish."
The shocked priest says, "Well, why are you telling me?"
The man replies, "Telling you?! I'm telling everybody!!!"
A Mafia leader decided to hire an accountant who was deaf so he would not have to worry about the accountant overhearing any business discussions. In a short period of time, the gangster noticed a great deal of money was missing so he had his men bring the accountant along with an interpreter.
"Ask him where the missing money is," and the interpreter dutifully signed to the accountant. The accountant signed back and the interpreter said to the boss, "He doesn't know anything about missing money." Hearing this, the boss pulled out his gun and said, "Tell him either he comes clean and tells us or I'll blow his head off!"
The interpreter signs to the accountant and the accountant signs back, "I put the money in a duffel bag and stashed it under my back porch!" The boss says to the interpreter, "Well, what did he say?" and the interpreter says "He said you don't have the balls to pull the trigger!"
"Ask him where the missing money is," and the interpreter dutifully signed to the accountant. The accountant signed back and the interpreter said to the boss, "He doesn't know anything about missing money." Hearing this, the boss pulled out his gun and said, "Tell him either he comes clean and tells us or I'll blow his head off!"
The interpreter signs to the accountant and the accountant signs back, "I put the money in a duffel bag and stashed it under my back porch!" The boss says to the interpreter, "Well, what did he say?" and the interpreter says "He said you don't have the balls to pull the trigger!"
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