True story: I went to a nice restaurant once, and, after dinner, ordered a single-malt scotch neat. The young waiter asked if I wanted that "up, or on the rocks?"
I had been a young, naive waiter for many years, and I identified with the kid, and I wanted to be nice. "No, no, I replied, I want it neat. Just tell your bartender I want it neat, he will know."
He nodded, and went off to the bar. He then came back and said the bartender wanted to know if I wanted it up or on the rocks. I said "No, just straight, that is, neat. Don't mix it with anything. Just the scotch itself." He went back to the bartender to negotiate this strange request.
He came back AGAIN, reporting the bartender didn't understand what I wanted, did I want it up or on the rocks? I began to lose my patience. From there, the conversation went like this:
Him: "So, how should he make this?"
Me: "Tell him to take a glass"
Him: "uh-huh..."
Me: "and then take the bottle of scotch"
Him: "uh-huh..."
Me: "and then pour some of the scotch into the glass"
Him: "uh-huh..."
Me: "and then you bring the glass to me."
Poor kid looked gobsmacked, but it worked. He apologized that neither he nor his bartender had ever heard of this before.