# foster care...



## g8keeper (Jun 18, 2012)

just an update to those well wishers and those that showed interest in what my gf and i are doing...it is now official....as of this upcoming wednesday, we will be taking in my gf's nephews....they will be living with us, and if the parents are not in "substantial compliance" with the rulings of the courts and such, then their rights will be stripped and we will then pursue adoption....once again, thanks go out to all of you that wished us well in this endeavor....thank you very much for all of your moral support and prayers....i may not be an extremely religious person but blessing go out to all of you....


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## ffemt128 (Jun 18, 2012)

Congratulations.....


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## g8keeper (Jun 18, 2012)

ffemt128 said:


> Congratulations.....


 

smilez....thank you, doug....we know this is a big step, and won't be easy, but it is a challenge we are willing to take in order to finally give these boys a normal, stabile, loving home life....


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## Wade E (Jun 18, 2012)

Wow, thats great and stepping out to plate on this just shows that the people on this forum are great!


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## g8keeper (Jun 18, 2012)

Wade E said:


> Wow, thats great and stepping out to plate on this just shows that the people on this forum are great!



thank you, wade.....like i said before, thanks to all you great people for your words of encouragement and support...


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## Runningwolf (Jun 18, 2012)

Ken, I cannot say enough about you and the gf. Congratulations!! We'd love to see a group photo.


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## Redtrk (Jun 18, 2012)

Ken IMO this just shows how big of a heart that you and your wife have. I was a foster parent years ago and took care of 4 besides my own 5 boys. 
It can be rewarding and also break your heart when they leave. Just now that God is smiling down on you both right now.


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## g8keeper (Jun 18, 2012)

Runningwolf said:


> Ken, I cannot say enough about you and the gf. Congratulations!! We'd love to see a group photo.



well dan, i will definitely get a group photo taken when we get the little ones....once i post it, i just might need a little help getting itadjusted to the right position...lol....seems every time i go to post a pic, it winds up sideways....once again, thank you dan, and redtrk....


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## SarahRides (Jun 18, 2012)

Great to here Ken! It's so great that things are work out, and that these kids will now have a loving, stable home thanks to you and your gf! Good luck! I hope it all continues to go smoothly for you!


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## tonyt (Jun 18, 2012)

The right stuff.


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## winemaker_3352 (Jun 18, 2012)

That's just awesome!!!


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## JohnT (Jun 19, 2012)

Like others have said, My God bless and keep all of you. My you remember the joy of each new experience with these kids, and forget all of the sorrows.


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## g8keeper (Jun 19, 2012)

JohnT said:


> Like others have said, My God bless and keep all of you. My you remember the joy of each new experience with these kids, and forget all of the sorrows.


 
thank you john....i know it will not be easy, but the satisfaction i will have in knowing i will have had a hand in giving these 2 a happy healthy home life will be all worth it...


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## g8keeper (Jun 21, 2012)

for those that have been following, and giving support, here's an update....we picked the boys up yesterday!!!....as we pulled up in the driveway, they were playing outside and when they saw us pulling in, they're little faces just lit right up and we were greeted with hugs and excitement....after a few minutes, they ran into the house to start getting their stuff together....lol...they both wound up falling asleep as we made the 2 hour trip back home....dan, you wanted pics, my friend, well here's number one with more eventually to come....the one on the left in aiden and he is 5, and the one on the right is landon, who is 4....they are both doing very well so far...smilez...


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## TJsBasement (Jun 21, 2012)

That's great for all of you. Them boys look like trouble to me.


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## g8keeper (Jun 21, 2012)

TJsBasement said:


> That's great for all of you. Them boys look like trouble to me.


 
roflmao, tj.....they are a little rambunctious, but then again, they are only 4 and 5....lol...i wish i had the energy those 2 have....lol...but i think there are already adjusting pretty well....tonight i'll get to see how they handle being at the bowling alley as i have league tonight...lol...the gf might wind up having to chase them around....lol...


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## ibglowin (Jun 21, 2012)

Fantastic news Ken. They look like great kids who just need some love, a stable home and to know that there is a boundary (when the time comes). With boys you always have to be on your toes for sure..........


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## Ernest T Bass (Jun 21, 2012)

I can't add much to what has already said except for what it's worth, I'm very proud of ya'll.
Semper Fi


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## g8keeper (Jun 21, 2012)

ibglowin said:


> Fantastic news Ken. They look like great kids who just need some love, a stable home and to know that there is a boundary (when the time comes). With boys you always have to be on your toes for sure..........


 
roflmao.....thanks, mike, and you are right....they are great kids, and with all the bouncing they have done since being brought into this world, they will probably need some counseling as well, but we are willing to get them the help they need....i think it will help that they are still so young also....and you are also right about them being boys...lol...heck, if you look closely at escalators at the department stores and such nowadays, they have a little invention on them i am sure i was partly the reason for....they now have a little lock and lockout on the emergency stop button....i was notorious, when i was a wee one, for pushing the emergency stop button and shutting down the escalators....what can i say???....i was a curious lil tike...i saw that bright red button, and wondered to myself "hmmm, what does this do?"....lol...and of course being so young, i didn't know if i would get the same reaction at different stores, so i did it again....lol...that was basically the only mischievious thing i actually really ever did...(at least that i remember anyway)...hehehe...but i'm sure with the love and care my gf and i have for them, they will turn out just fine, if the parents rights are stripped as of august and we get to adopt them....until then, we will still do whatever we can for them....


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## g8keeper (Jun 21, 2012)

Ernest T Bass said:


> I can't add much to what has already said except for what it's worth, I'm very proud of ya'll.
> Semper Fi


 
thank you ernest...we appreciate the support for sure....my mom is already so giddy and supportive as well, already mentioning on facebook about how she is now a foster grandma and all....smilez....she used to be a pre-kindergarten teacher and has always loved little ones...seeing as how she's never had a chance at being a grandma to little ones, she's enjoying this....my ex's boys were already 7 and 11 when we got together, and my gf's son's are already 15 and 17...when we took the little ones over there when dropping my stepdad's truck back off after borrowing it to move the boys' stuff, my mom already had a little goody bag full of pencils, play dough, hacky sack balls, and such, waiting for them....i tell ya what, those little smiles really do warm the heart....


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## Runningwolf (Jun 21, 2012)

Ken, great looking boys. I think you're just as lucky to have them as they are to have you and the gf.


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## g8keeper (Jun 21, 2012)

Runningwolf said:


> Ken, great looking boys. I think you're just as lucky to have them as they are to have you and the gf.


 
dan, so far, i think you just might be right....of course being 4 and 5, they are full of energy and a little rambunctious, but i think while they were with their aunt for the past almost a year, they might have made a little progress with some behavior problems as well....they are still a handful, but don't seem to be quite as much of a handful as they were when they would come to visit my gf before she moved in with me....so far so good....i know it's gonna be a long and at times rough road, but it's the little moments like i mentioned in the post under the "what are you doing today" thread that just makes it all worth it....now mind you, my gf and i are not very religious....we have our beliefs, but do not attend church, but i do think from now on, as long as the older one wants to do it, i think Grace just might now become a part of our dinner time routine....oh....wait....i just remembered, on top of everything else, the older one even asked my gf shortly after i got home from work, if he could vaccuum the living room....so she got the vac out and away he went before dinner, and finished up afterwards....he even rewound the cord to put the vac away afterwards as well!!!....can you believe it???...and the younger one, yesterday evening, was about to go outside for a bit to play, after playing with some toys in the house....i told him to pick the toys up and put them away first, and believe it or not, without griping, like he used to, he went right ahead and put them away (and this is the one that has more of the behavior problems)....i was already impressed....so far the transition for them seems to be going a little smoother than i expected....already a proud "foster" parent....but who knows....could be an adoptive parent if the parents don't straighten up....only 2 days in and i am already proud of these 2....smilez...


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## Rocky (Jun 21, 2012)

Ken, I think this is a wonderful thing you two are doing. Best wishes to the four of you and all good fortune in the future.


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## g8keeper (Jun 21, 2012)

Rocky said:


> Ken, I think this is a wonderful thing you two are doing. Best wishes to the four of you and all good fortune in the future.



thank you, rocky....and actually, not sure if i mentioned before, but my gf also has a 15 and a 17 year old, so now we have 6...lol....and yeah, i think it is a great thing as well....i think we all are aldeady having a positive effect on each other...smilez...


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## JohnT (Jun 22, 2012)

Well, I understand not being religious, but think of grace this way... 

It might not help, but it certainly does not hurt anything.

Best thing to keep in mind is to be consistant! Set rules and make sure the kids understand what the rules are right from the get go. Sit them down and explain them. Also, when a rule is broken, make sure to always back it up with some form of punishment and when a rule is adhered to, make sure that there is an equal reward. It is when "sometimes the rules apply" that causes most strife. (sorry, took some child psyc in college).

johnT.


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## g8keeper (Jun 22, 2012)

JohnT said:


> Well, I understand not being religious, but think of grace this way...
> 
> It might not help, but it certainly does not hurt anything.
> 
> ...


 
no need to apologize, john, you are perfectly right....and yes, i know all about the positive reinforcement as well as the negative or punishment....and definitely gotta be consistent....so far so good....not really any major house rules broken except for running in the house....lol...so off to a good start...and it looks like my gf has another helper when it comes to working around the house, as the older one ASKED if he could vaccuum yesterday...i got such a kick out of it....lol..


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## g8keeper (Jun 26, 2012)

after work yesterday, took the boys to the playground area in my complex....they had fun playing on the jungle gym, swings, and slides....then it was across the street to the baseball field for a little "batting practice"....lol...they aren't all that good, but they had fun....lol...then again, they are only 5 and 6....they did get a hold of a few and had a couple of nice hits, considering they were using plastic bats and a tennis ball...i'm thinking there might be enough interest that next year we might just have to sign them up for tee ball (that is if the "system" works out and we do get to keep them)...considering they also like to bowl, just might have to sign them up for a bowling league as well....if they like it, might as well start them young....lord knows i started my first bowling league either in kindergarten or first grade, and the young age of 7....lol...here i am, soooo many years later, and still bowling strong....roflmao...


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## g8keeper (Jul 14, 2012)

...
well for those of you that have been following this thread at all, you know about 3 weeks ago my girlfriend and i became foster parents to a pair of 4 and 5 year boys...things have been going pretty good so far i must say....i mean, dont get me wrong, it hasn't all been roses....lol...it has made finances a little tighter lately as there has been a foul up with the case paperwork, so all of the boys support so far has been out of pocket, therefore curbing winemaking funds, but so be it...my parents are really digging being "grandma" and "grandpa"....lol...my mom has already started to spoil the boys by starting accumulate a supply of toys for the boys to play with whenever they come over....lol...not to mention always wanting us to bring them over, which is not a problem as they only live about 5 minutes from us, and being the first to volunteer to watch the boys whenever we need a babysitter....lol...the boys have already started calling my stepdad grandpa, and get soooo excited when they go over to my parent's house and see his truck in the driveway...now in my case, i was already 18 when he became my stepdad, but since then has always been a big supporter and done a lot for me...well even he has been loving it....it's not by what he says so much as it is his actions....for example, when we have been visiting, the boys might seem to be getting a little mischievious...so mom goes to correct them, and grandpa tells her "oh, leave them alone....they're just being kids".....lol...ya gotta love it...a number of years ago they had a pool in their backyard...well it became too much of a hassle, wasn't getting used and the decided to get rid of it...then my mom began missing it and wanting another one, to which he would respond "NO"...then the boys showed up....lol...mom once again mentioned getting another pool, and this time around, without a fuss, he tells her ok, and so for the 4th of july, a new pool was installed...it's one of those 4 ft. deep, like 17 foot round inflatable type pools...so it's one of those that they can take down after the season if they want to...not something they are used to dealing with...but the story gets better...they are not really familiar with the lifespan of this kind of pool...my parents were talking about it and my stepdad tells mom that when this one bites it, they will get another bigger permanent pool....lol...now you tell me he's not enjoying being grandpa....all in all though, everyone seems to be adjusting fine....the boys can be a handful at times, but so can all kids...lol...and my gf and i have gone from being auntie and uncle to momma and daddy...i get greeted everyday when i get home from work with hugs and kisses, and being informed by the gf that they ask all day long about when am i coming home...lol...as bad as it sounds, i really hope the system does the right thing at the end of august and terminates the biological parents' rights and allows us to adopt them, otherwise i can assure you, almost everyone involved in this situation, will be devastated...


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## tonyt (Jul 14, 2012)

Touching and inspiring.


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## g8keeper (Jul 14, 2012)

tonyt said:


> Touching and inspiring.


 
lol....ty, tony....yeah, it really is touching, believe me....and rewarding as well, knowing that i could possibly be making a difference in these young ones lives...


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## g8keeper (Aug 25, 2012)

well so far we are 2 months into our foster care...bio-mom has only made it to 1 of her supervised visits with the boys....their lawyer and their foster care worker have already stated, they are petitioning to have rights terminated...if bio-mom voluntarily signs over rights then they just have to track down bio-dad, and the adoption process can begin...once they find him, given how little he has been involved in the boys lives, especially as of late, i don't think he'll have any qualms about releasing his rights....been working with a licensing agency to get our actually licenses sooner....all the paperwork has been filled out and she should be typing up her report this week...she's visited with us twice so far after spending about 5 hours at our home the first time, and about an hour and a half the second, leaving with a very good and happy feeling about this placement for the boys...it's been a little rough financially as right now we are not receiving any money for them because of a snafu when the case was transferred 2 months ago....granted, until fully licensed that would only be 147 amonth, but that is better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick...and i will definitely admit, it hasn't been completely a bed of roses, nor did i expect it to be....lol...the younger one has definitely been exhibiting behavioral problems, once again expected...he's regressed a bit in bathroom habits for one, starting to have "accidents" again in his pants...we ask him if he's a big boy or a baby and he insists he's a big boy....keep telling him only babies go to the bathroom in their pants, and big boys stop what they are doing, and go use the toilet when they feel they gotta go...and then their is the deal with his listening skills and defiance of my gf and mom....they tell him something, and if he doesn't like it, he cops an attitude, has a hissy fit, and gives them all kinds of a hard time....but when i'm there, and open my mouth, oh buddy, he does what he's told (at least at the time...lol)....but his memory definitely is horrible....lol...seems like i'm constantly telling him not to do the same things over and over and over....lol...and then when i ask him why he keeps doing what i tell him not to do, i just get that blank deer in the headlights look, like i'm speaking japanese to him or something....but even with all the negative attention for misbehaving, he and his brother get constant reassurance that my gf and i love them both dearly, which we do....these 2 boys have an entire family that loves them very, very much...hopefully with the counseling we recently got them into and all the love and support them receive from all of us, they'll be able to lead normal lives....i still wouldn't trade them in for the world...


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## winemaker_3352 (Aug 25, 2012)

Thanks for the update.

Who knows what those kids have been through - might take them a while to understand that they are in a loving family now. Regression is bathroom habits is normal - kids can regress when they go through a change like this.

Positive reinforcement and letting them know they are loved - those kids will turn the corner before you know it...

Keep up the good work - i think it is great what you all are doing!!!


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## Julie (Aug 25, 2012)

Gook luck Ken,

You sound like you guys got a pretty good handle on things. The first thing I notice is you have the intelligence to know when you need outside help. Good for you guys to get them counseling. That is just going to make this whole thing more successful.


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## g8keeper (Oct 19, 2012)

well after a few months or waiting, we finally found out yesterday we are now officially licensed foster parents and will start receiving funds to help us continue to take care of the boys....like i said, it's been pretty tough the last few months since the gf is no longing getting child support from her ex....she also just recently was hired for a part time seasonal job as a cashier, that if she performs well, they could possibly keep her on as a regular afterwards....no, i am not thrilled about the idea of her having to get a job, having ms and all, but we certainly could use the money, as i have had to pick up all the financial slack, leaving me with no money for us to enjoy, so to speak....the boys are still doing really well, just having a hard time listening, which is par for the course...lol....the ironic thing is they have absolutely no problem calling me daddy, but even though my gf had raised them earlier on, they still for the most part, call her by her name instead of calling her mommy....lol...they both recently had bdays, september, and october 9th, and both got new bikes for them...they are now 5 and 6....the 6 year old is in kindergarten and is doing very well...he was tested for learning disability, and the only thing he really needs is some work with the speech pathologist a couple of times a week....the 5 year old is definitely showing some signs of being a little behind in his development, and the school district has finally decided they want to test him as well, after months of the gf trying to talk them into it...lol....currently he is working with my mom who is a retired pre-k teacher....he seems to be learning but is also exhibiting signs of short term memory problems....he definitely has no attention span and truly lacks focus....otherwise, they are doing well...yeah, they can get on the nerves at times, but they are definitely loved by the entire family....they ARE family, and not just someone else's kids we are taking care of....we just can't wait til we are actually able to adopt them, but one step at a time, right???....


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