# Christmas Spirit



## Rocky (Dec 3, 2012)

Something has been bothering me and I wanted to put it to my friends here on the forum. I am having a lot of difficulty in getting into the "Christmas Spirit" this year and I am not sure why. Some possible reasons are:

- My daughter is going through a rather ugly divorce.
- I am continually disappointed at the commercialization of Christmas.
- I am worried about the direction of our Country and how it will affect my Grandchildren.
- I have some old and dear friends who have severe health issues.
- I am just getting old and crotchety.
- All of the above.

On the other hand, I have a lot to be happy about. We have our health (and most of our sanity), we have wonderful friends, I have my wine, we are "comfortable" in our retirement and our Grandchildren are doing well, healthwise, in school and in sports.

I know that I will shake it off but I was wondering, do any of you get this way at this time of year? It could be that it is just Winter, my least favorite season. The Italians say,_ "Tutto diventa verde in primavera."_ (Everything turns green in Springtime.)

Come on, Springtime!


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## ShelleyDickison (Dec 3, 2012)

I know exactly what you mean. I usually look forward to Christmas. This year we will finally be all together. Last couple of years my son in laws who are both in the military have traded off being gone for Christmas this year both my girls and their husbands and my 3 granddaughters will be with us. Feel joy for that. However after the holidays my youngest and her family are moving to Japan for four years. Shortly after my newest granddaughter arrives in feb 15th. In addition like all grandparent I want to buy everything thing for them, but with the economy, how much can I actually spend without knowing what shape the country will be in the coming year. So I am trying to balance the Joy of the season and the meaning of the season with the reality of life. It's a tough thing to do sometimes. I guess I should remember my blessing and trust in Him to help through the rest.


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## BobF (Dec 3, 2012)

I haven't been into the whole holiday-christmas spirit thing since I was a child.

I find good things about all seasons, but winter is my least favorite. I don't get any particular gloom during the winter though.

christmas and thanksgiving are just regular days as is halloween, but I do eat chocolate year round!


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## grapeman (Dec 3, 2012)

I can relate with you Rocky. Christmas time has sadly become "present time" and profit time for corporations. Mind you I am not against capitalism, but Christmas is not supposed to be so linked. We never seem to have the money that family and friends seem to and constantly feel even if we give gifts that ours just don't match up to the ones from others.

This year's Christmas season is especially hard for me. A few weeks ago the doctors discovered I have lymphoma cancer. I had a large whole lymph node bopsy done Thursday and my underarm is still really sore. The doctors will use the results of the biopsy and previous tests done to me in the last few weeks to determine my future. Hopefully what I have is still treatable either through radiation or chemothrapy or a combination. I have a followup appointment for this Friday morning. While I am apprehensive about my future, I feel I will remain poistive as long as I can in order to remain strong for my family. Hopefully with treatment I will still have a few years left on earth to give what I can to others. This forum is one way I feel I can help a bit, so I will stay here as long as I can type (it has been a challenge these last few days LOL).

So Rocky, understand you can't change the future, just embrace it for what it offers. I realize you have some years and wiseness on me, but stay positive, keep happy and love each day we have on Earth.


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## robie (Dec 3, 2012)

I hear you, Rocky. The divorce thing is certainly not helping. I think it is all the commercialization and it starting to early. To me, the black Friday scenario is sort of killing the mood, but again, that's just me.


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## ibglowin (Dec 3, 2012)

I put up the outdoor lights yesterday in shorts and a short sleeve shirt. The temp was almost 60 degrees. Warmest I think I have seen it around here in the 27 years I have lived here in the mountains of Northern NM. If we don't get some precip soon were gonna burn up what ever is left and still standing after the last two forrest fires......

LOTS to be thankful for though. 

Good health.
Good marriage.
Good job.
Happy kids who are doing well in life
2 healthy parents now in their early 80's

I lost not one but two coworkers in our group unexpectedly in the last 12 months so that alone makes me stop and take a look around me and the blessings I have been given in life.


Rich, we have talked offline but just remember this too shall pass. May not be a whole lot of fun but your gonna make it buddy. 

LIVE*STRONG* 

Thoughts and prayers are with you and your family especially this Holiday season.


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## Julie (Dec 3, 2012)

The commercialization of Christmas has been going on since TV was invented, is it worst, yes but it is what it is. I refuse to deal with it. I buy small presents for my family, never a whole lot of money is involved (and I never use a credit card) and I refuse to have any expensive present bought for me at Christmas, now expensive presents for my birthday is a whole other idea . I know I totally frustrate Mike every year because I always have a rough time coming up with a Christmas list. But that is not what makes me happy at Christmas time. It is the smiles and the love and great company.

The country is going to go in the direction it is and there isn’t really much we can do about it, except to listen to the news media constantly broadcast doom and gloom. Stop listening to the news Rocky! Worrying will give you nothing buy sadness.

I went thru a nasty divorce but while it was the worst thing I went thru at the time, I made it thru and never left it spoil a Christmas.

Christmas is what you make of it NOT WHAT YOU ALLOW OTHERS TO FORCE ON YOU!!!!!!!!

Grapeman, I’m glad you posted up on what you are going thru, I know everyone here is going to help you thru your health problems. 

Rocky, come to lunch on the 15th at Luva Bella, I’ll sing you some Christmas songs and make you laugh as long as you don’t pay any attention to Mike saying “Don’t let her sing.”

No matter what you or your family are going thru at this time when Christmas comes it is the magical time to forget the sorrows, the pain and the worry. Just for this small short time it is happiness.



​

And for those you read my sob story about my Christmas Star, it is fixed and will be on my tree again!


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## Minnesotamaker (Dec 3, 2012)

Rocky, We (our immediate family) generally resist the "popular direction" that Christmas has taken. We tend to put greater importance in maintaining family traditions and spending time together. We do exchange gifts, but resist the pressure to over-do it. We sometimes feel like "outsiders", but I think there are lots of others like us; you just don't see people like us on TV because there isn't a profit to me made on us. Our kids won't get the pile of high end presents that some of their friends will get, but they will get love and hugs and hopefully a balanced philosophy on the important things in life.

Don't let anyone else define the season for you. Forget about the decorations and presents and look for opportunities to spend time with your loved ones. And enjoy and share some of your wine. The wine made with your "own two hands" can't be bought in the store for any price!


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## JohnT (Dec 3, 2012)

Rocky, 

There is nothing abnormal here. I find this I simply CAN'T get into Christmas untill the actual day is in sight. 

My wife is a christmas nut. She has fond memories of the "norman rockwell" type chistmasses she had growing up. For me, Christmas was a time where my dad would fight with my mom over how much she spent. 

All I can tell you is this. Sit down and take stock. You need to latch onto the positive aspects of the holiday that you look forward to. If you find nothing like that, then endeaver to add those elements in...

How about asking you daughter to stay for the holidays? seems to me that she could use the break.

Also, see if there is any way to spend time with your grandchildren. Make it a point to read them "twas the night". I always remember how my grandfather used to do that.


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## Tom_S (Dec 3, 2012)

I do think they start the Christmas season way too early. It seems like stores put away the back-to-school stuff and bring out the Christmas stuff. Years ago my wife & I had the habit of laying in bed together listening to the radio, and the station she liked to listen to had nonstop Christmas music the day after Halloween! I mean, come on give me a break! Christmas isn't special if you celebrate it for half the year.

I think I had enough of family get-togethers from Thanksgiving. We traveled 2 hours for Thanksgiving to be in a crowded house full of people all talking at the same time and trying to keep an eye on the kids, then that evening on our way home we stopped at a Walmart to pick up some spices for a Thanksgiving dinner we were throwing for our family. They were getting ready to have a pre-black Friday sale at 8 PM that night, and we just happened to get there at around 7:55. My wife went in while I eventually found a parking spot in the back of the store, then had a heck of a time getting out of there. Then we spent Friday & Saturday cleaning the house and cooking dinner, only to have my family come, eat, and then leave for church, only to have some of them say they weren't coming back afterward. Two days of cooking for about a 45 minute visit. At least _some_ of them came back and we had a pretty good time talking and drinking homemade wine. Then Sunday yet another get-together for a family reunion for some of my wife's family. Then Christmas we get to do it all over again.


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## Rocky (Dec 3, 2012)

grapeman said:


> I can relate with you Rocky. Christmas time has sadly become "present time" and profit time for corporations. Mind you I am not against capitalism, but Christmas is not supposed to be so linked. We never seem to have the money that family and friends seem to and constantly feel even if we give gifts that ours just don't match up to the ones from others.
> 
> This year's Christmas season is especially hard for me. A few weeks ago the doctors discovered I have lymphoma cancer. I had a large whole lymph node bopsy done Thursday and my underarm is still really sore. The doctors will use the results of the biopsy and previous tests done to me in the last few weeks to determine my future. Hopefully what I have is still treatable either through radiation or chemothrapy or a combination. I have a followup appointment for this Friday morning. While I am apprehensive about my future, I feel I will remain poistive as long as I can in order to remain strong for my family. Hopefully with treatment I will still have a few years left on earth to give what I can to others. This forum is one way I feel I can help a bit, so I will stay here as long as I can type (it has been a challenge these last few days LOL).
> 
> So Rocky, understand you can't change the future, just embrace it for what it offers. I realize you have some years and wiseness on me, but stay positive, keep happy and love each day we have on Earth.


 
Rich, your health issue sure puts most of my trivialities in perspective. I wish you all the best, my Friend.


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## wineforfun (Dec 3, 2012)

Excellent thread Rocky. Not much more to add as most everyone has covered it. 
I find it quite humorous too(not really) that while people/children were able to live without that Ipad, TV, bicycle, etc. for 11 months out of the year, now all of a sudden they need it. I was just having this exact conversation(about the commercialization of Christmas) with some people this weekend. My mother is battling some health issues in the hospital right now, and having her healthy is all the "present" I need.

Rich,
I wish you the best. Just stay positive.


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## Rocky (Dec 3, 2012)

Thank you all for your encouraging words. I really feel better already. 

Lon, for more than 25 years now, Bev and I have not been exchanging gifts with each other and our relatives. The only exceptions are the children (Grandchildren, Nephews and Nieces) for whom we continue to buy. What we do instead is double and triple up on our giving to people who really need it and to our service men and women. There are a number of Food Kitchens and organizations which will provide a Holiday meal to a family with a donation from us. 

For our service people, if anyone is familiar with the website www.anysoldier.com, that is the organization that we use. You can donate money or send packages (which I do because I remember how great it was to get something from home when I was in the service) and I have a ball shopping for things and sending them. You would not believe the letters we get back from the soldiers. They are so thankful for what in reality costs me a little time and some money, and they don't even consider that they are putting it all on the line for us 24/7!

If you want to wake up on Christmas morning and really feel good, I highly recommend it.


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## bakervinyard (Dec 3, 2012)

Hey Rocky, I find it hard to get into the Christmas spirit also. I manage a bakery and we have 5 function rooms, 2 stores and 12 trucks. I work 60 -70 hours a week this time of year. Can't remember my last day off, will be off this Sunday, the wifes birthday. My kids are in their 20's. My daughter is getting married this summer, future son-in-law is from N.Y. so they go to his parents Christmas day. Most of the old family traditions are gone. Starting new ones as the kids get older. I do count my blessings for my good health and even though I work crazy hours this time of year I have a steady job. Good health to all this season. "Baker"vinyard.


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## tonyt (Dec 3, 2012)

Well up until two years ago I owned a chain of Hallmark Shops. Owned them for 40 years. At one time had 19 of them. Put out Christmas ornaments in July. Took a lot of heat for that but folks waited all year for the new ones to come out. I worried about sales all year 50% of sales came in 4th quarter. . Hated Valentines the most, largest single three days sales all in last 3 days. Never spent Valentines with my wife of 35 years till I sold the last 3 stores two years ago. Si I absolutely understand when folks get blue and sick if the hype. Now I really enjoy holiday, not the commertial part but I can ignore that now and focus on the Faith and Family aspect.

Grandkids help a huge amount too.

Grapeman stay positive!


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## Tom_S (Dec 3, 2012)

My wife and I typically don't celebrate Valentine's day either. She appreciates it more when I send her flowers for other anniversaries or for no reason at all.


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## JohnT (Dec 4, 2012)

Tom_S said:


> My wife and I typically don't celebrate Valentine's day either. She appreciates it more when I send her flowers for other anniversaries or for no reason at all.


 
A number of years back, when we were married just a couple of years, I was taking the trash out to the curb about a week after valintenes day. 

I noticed, in the trash can, all of the gifts that were only a week old and flipped! I realized that I spent about $250 for trash. WHAT A WASTE!

I marched into the house and told the wife that I am no longer going to throw money away on "getting a gift for the sake of getting a gift". If there is something that she wants for an occasion, it is her responsibility to let me know. Otherwise, she should not expect anything. This also applies to her getting something for me. 

This has worked out well and actually made our lives more meaningful. Instead of getting the wife flowers when they are $60/dozen, I get her flowers "out of the blue" throughout the year (when the mood strikes me).


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## BobF (Dec 4, 2012)

We are fortunate enough to be able to get things we want when we want them. I've found that gift-giving on commercial dates is less meaningful than treating each other the way we did when we were newlyweds throughout the year means more ... and the dividends are much greater too!


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## Rocky (Dec 4, 2012)

I am feeling much more "HO HO HO" now, thanks to you all.

Not sure how I negelected to mention the greatest gift I have ever received and that I my Bride, Bev. We will be married 47 years on December 29 (I was in the Army at the time and that was the only time I could get leave) and I could not be more blessed. Sometimes the most important things in life are too obvious to us and we take them for granted.


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## g8keeper (Dec 4, 2012)

rocky, i find it also hard to get into the holiday spirit as well, and you might be right that a lot of it has to do with the pressure of the commercialized nature of the holiday, but maybe also due to the political correctness b.s. involved with it....xmas plays and concerts in schools being referred to as just "winter" concerts and such, and "merry christmas" being replaced with "happy holidays" (but that's fodder for other rants)....i also work in the retail business, but on the grocery end of it....working harder than usual, seeing bigger orders come in through the back door, over stuffing the backroom....and for what???...basically just for 1 day of "celebration"....sometimes it's hard to see if the ends actually justify the means....especially with the economy the way it is.....we've seen people's buying trends change over the years.....even during the holidays, less and less of the extraneous items being purchased, just relying on the necessities mostly.....people not baking as much like they used to....instead of being busy for about 2 weeks prior to the holiday, it's all last minutes, only a day or 2 beforehand....and this year, i actually am going to have my first experiences dealing with little ones for the holiday, since as mentioned previously, this year i became a foster dad to 2 boys, ages 5 and 6 years, a grandfather to my oldest stepson's (from my previous marriage) son, as well as an uncle to my gf's sister's daughter, and am already feeling that pressure brought about by thinking of buying presents for these little ones...i am not a rich man (by monetary standards) by any means, and don't want it to seem like i don't care about my grandson and seem like a bad grandpa, but because this year has been particularly rough, i can't really afford to "spoil" my grandson on his 1st christmas, so that's making me feel bad....so i suppose you are right, i am succumbing to the commercilization of x mas and getting away from the true meaning....i guess i need to try to focus on that....and btw, grapeman, my prayers are with you as well, hoping all turns out well....


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## JohnT (Dec 4, 2012)

Keeper, 

I don't know what to say here. I feel bad for you. Seems it would be a small thing to expect a merry christmas given everything you have been through.

My brother has 7 kids. They have a "secret santa" way about the holidays. Each person gets only 1 gift. The put all names into a hat, and each person purchases only one gift. It was fun and rather low impact during hard times. 
Perhaps this could work for you too?

johnT


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## Kraffty (Dec 4, 2012)

There seems to be a common thread here of learning to apprieciate what we have and not so much doing what the commercialized segment has been so successful in conditioning us to believe is important. Perhaps this should be expected from a group of people who take joy in creating their own wines. It seems to me a great deal of you make hundreds and hundreds of bottles a year only to give away or share a large portion of those freely with friends, family and aquaintences. Sounds to me like the kind of Christmas Spirit that exists here should be envied by all.
All the best to all of you this Christmas,
Mike


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## dangerdave (Dec 4, 2012)

BobF said:


> We are fortunate enough to be able to get things we want when we want them. I've found that gift-giving on commercial dates is less meaningful than treating each other the way we did when we were newlyweds throughout the year means more ... and the dividends are much greater too!


 
I'm with you, Bob. I was going to say just that!

Still, I am what I am, and I'll not deny it. I'm an American consumer. I'm a small cog in the big American machine. I work, I get paid, I spend. There are a lot of people who have jobs who rely on me to do just that. My wife and I get what we want and/or need throughout the year, so that xmas has less commercial meaning and more family fun. I couldn't care less what those bozos in DC are doing. What they do affects me very little, really. I tend to only worry about things that I can deal with. My house, my job, my family, my wine. The past is gone, and tomorrow can take care of itself. Today, we live!

My wife is not mediaclly well, but I don't worry about that either. She relies on me _a lot_, and like I tell her, "Never has a man had so many opportunities on a daily basis to do so many wonderful things for the woman he loves."

I always try to remember that happiness is a choice you make.


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## Julie (Dec 4, 2012)

dangerdave said:


> I'm with you, Bob. I was going to say just that!
> 
> Still, I am what I am, and I'll not deny it. I'm an American consumer. I'm a small cog in the big American machine. I work, I get paid, I spend. There are a lot of people who have jobs who rely on me to do just that. My wife and I get what we want and/or need throughout the year, so that xmas has less commercial meaning and more family fun. I couldn't care less what those bozos in DC are doing. What they do affects me very little, really. I tend to only worry about things that I can deal with. My house, my job, my family, my wine. The past is gone, and tomorrow can take care of itself. Today, we live!
> 
> ...



Dave this is pretty much what I tried to say but couldn't get it out as well as you. Too bad you live so far away from Luva Bella's, I'm thinking you and I could be singing Christmas songs together.


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## dangerdave (Dec 4, 2012)

And I thought I was rambling.  Thanks, Julie. I'll toast you all on the 15th. Perhaps some day we will drink and sing together, all of us.


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## Bartman (Dec 5, 2012)

Holiday spirit? What is this holiday spirit of which you speak? Oh, is there some annual social event(s) upcoming? Should I bring a gift?

We've all heard about the over-commercialization of Christmas for years now, and I wouldn't dare to argue otherwise, but frankly, I stopped agonizing over it once I decided Christmas is for the kids to look forward to for 3 months of the year, and me to relax and play along. You put the tree up, get an Advent calendar started, make some dinner plans with my folks and my in-laws for the 24th and 25th, play your favorite Christmas records (now CDs), and try to make it to the local winemaking club's Christmas party. Now we have to schedule around Nutcracker ballet rehearsals, but that's not so bad either. Look back at that list of holiday 'stuff' - not one bit about shopping or feeling pressured to buy a Cabbage Patch Doll, a talking Elmo, Madden '**, an iPad, or any other over-hyped bits of plastic and electronics.

So, Rocky, I'll let others worry and fret about when the Black Friday sales start - I have better and happier things to dwell on! Which reminds me - the wife's birthday is a week before Christmas - that's the Reason for the Season, according to her! ::


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## Rocky (Dec 5, 2012)

Thanks, Bart. You are right on the mark on this. Happiness comes from within and I will not let others define mine. I am actually feeling really good now since I have seen the responses and took a moment to reflect on my particular situation.

BTW, for me there is a bright side to all the holiday mania. Bev's birthday is the 28th, our anniversary is the 29th. I portray this as a marvel of good planning because in 47 years, I have never forgotten either celebration! All the holiday hoopla reminds me of the upcoming events! Smart, eh?


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## grapeman (Dec 5, 2012)

Good planning Rocky and obviously a great choice in your wife! My birthday is the day after Christmas, so it is also hard to forget also.


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## Bartman (Dec 5, 2012)

Is that a not-so-subtle hint for the rest of us, Grapeman?


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## Tom_S (Dec 5, 2012)

g8keeper;388806 "merry christmas" being replaced with "happy holidays"[/QUOTE said:


> I never did understand the anger over saying "happy holidays" when not everyone celebrates a Christian Christmas. Stores advising their employees to say "happy holidays" to people is meant to be inclusive of everybody. You don't want to make Jewish customers uncomfortable by telling them "Merry Christmas" for example.
> 
> And before anyone starts the "reason for the season" talk, Jesus wouldn't have been born in the winter, according to the bible. The shepherds were keeping watch over their flocks when the angel appeared to them, which they only kept watch over flocks during the spring lambing season when the lambs were easy meals for predators. It wasn't until many centuries later when the pagans were celebrating Winter Solstice that Christianity adopted it as an official holiday. They did this with Easter, too, but that's another discussion.


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## GaDawg (Oct 24, 2017)

Rocky said:


> - I am just getting old and crotchety.



Rocky, we are like wine. As we get old we can turn to vinegar or get better with age. It is your choice!


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## jswordy (Nov 6, 2017)

Go out on the streets of your city or town and find people who are living on them. Give them food, shelter, clothing. Visit the sick and those in nursing homes. Make it a holiday point to contact old friends in person, not online. Then come home and hug your family. You will have found the true Christmas spirit. The rest is simply crass commercialism.


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## jgmann67 (Nov 6, 2017)

I struggle to get through the Christmas holiday every year... to the point of my family noticing that I've slipped into a deep funk around the 18th of December that grips me for weeks. There always seems to be some type of sadness to deal with (e.g. my grandfather passing on Christmas eve; the first Christmas after my dad passed away; then Mom).

The only things that I've found that help are: turning off the television, going to church and spending as much time as I can with my family and friends. It helps with the 'Charlie Brown' feeling.


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## JohnT (Nov 7, 2017)

has anybody seen this?? It is supposed to project lights onto your home and have them move about. The unit is under $20 at Wally-World! Just think, setting up you lights could be as easy as uncoiling an extension cord and pointing a projector!!!


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## Julie (Nov 7, 2017)

Out neighbor has one for Halloween, it was pretty neat. They had ghosts flying all over their house!


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