# Stuck with a Moose in the House



## arcticsid (Jan 30, 2009)

Pretty quiet in here the last couple days and I don't have anything to liven yall up. I do have something however to share with you. I came back a couple hours ago from "inspecting" the lil old shack out back and I seen "Mama Moose", I aint seen here in a couple months. As much of a pain as she is I was kinda wondering if she was okay. Been pretty cold around here. Gonna be -40F again tonight. Having said that... this is the story from last fall.

I guess it was like October, and I was sitting at my desk, minding my own business. My cabin is small and the door opens in. That time of year I keep the door wide open trying to celebrate what is left of summer. When I heard footsteps on the porch, I was sure it was a friend coming to visit, and so I turned to greet him/her. It was a her, but it wasn't what I expected, it was the Mama Moose, that had been terrorizing the garden all summer (she wasn't a friend)!

My desk is on the opposite side of the cabin door and I realized I needed to make some decisions, fast!!

In a matter of a split second she went right for the cat dish and began to help herself. I knew I would have to shoot her, even though I would then have an 800 lb moose dead as a doornail in my little cabin, and even dead I would not beable to keep it. It would go to charity. By the time they came to retrieve it, it would begin to stink., but I realized shooting her was what I would have to do.

Only problem was my rifle was next to the door Mama Moose had just entered, and my pistol was on the table outside. Then I began to consider my options.

I was trying to be reasonable when I stood up to confront her, she din't feel the same. The ears went back, the hair on her back went up, and that 800 lb ass swung just enough to close the door. And so here I was, with an 800lb Mama Moose and me, stuck in this lil cabin.(funny now, not then)

I VERY slowly reached for my beer with one hand and the phone with the other. I was gonna call the neighbor, then I remebered he doesn't like me, so I called my buddy Dwayne, I explained my most unusual circumstance, he didn't belive me and hung up.

I looked for my cats, figuring they would be like a dog and protect me in some way. Nothin doin. Took me almost a month to get Curly Q from out back of the sofa.

Thought about screaming like a tourist, but then figured anyone who would have heard me would have figured me and mine had found a new way to celebrate. I don't particularly like to involve the cops, but I did call the Alaska State Troopers(who are also our Fish and Game) The lady DID NOT believe me and said I could be charged for this type of a call. No Shit!!!!

I was gonna call my Ma, but she may as well be the Trooper dispatch, no way she would had believed me. And besides she was thousands of miles away. And so I drank one more sip of my beer and pondered life with an 800lb Mama Moose in my house and noone to help me. I looked at the window behind me, but it was blocked by "stuff", can't get her excited.

By now I am really trippin(can I say that here?)out and within moment this big ole moose proceeded to plop her ass right on my floor and decides to nap.

I called the Troopers back and insist they send me some help. The gal must have knew I wasn't bullshitting this time and said she would send a trooper out.

And so I waited, and waited, and between the beer and the nervousness(is freaken-out-ness a word?) I had to pee, and I waited, and I looked at this big flippin Mama Moose napping on my floor, bout 15 or 20 mins later I had seen no Troopers. I had to make a decision. I had to make it past the Moose.

I sucked in my breath and I crept like an Indian, with the stealth I had observed from my cats, the same ones who were now hiding under the couch and one that was stuck to the cieling, and I managed to get to the door.

I opened it and ran out. I was safe!!! However my beer was still inside, and so was the Mama Moose, and the brave feline companions. I damn sure didn't want to but I went to the picnic table and grab my pistol. I asked Mama Moose one more time to please leave. She gulped the last of the cat food from their dish and wandered back out the door and down the steps, then she turned to me with that .44 pointed right at her and she thanked me.

She wandered off to the woods and I just wandered around. I just thank God it wasn't a bear, because that glass in the window would have cut the livin daylight outta me when I jumped through it.

So there.
Troy


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## arcticsid (Jan 30, 2009)

PS the Troopers did eventualy show up and they seen all the stuff the moose knocked over, took a couple pictures and left. This was like 30 mins AFTER the moose first walked in. You know, I guess all in all it sure beats living in the city.
Troy


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## twissty (Jan 30, 2009)

I spend a week every October "moose hunting". 

Having them show up at the camp would certainly be easier than actually going into the bush to look for one! Mind if i ask what kind of cat food you were using for bait?

Oh yeah.. and I'd suggest a nice big red like a cabernet savignon to go with that prime rib of moose roast.


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## arcticsid (Jan 30, 2009)

Atta Cat Twissty. The story is true, if I was going to lie, I would have came up with somthing better than that! The moose really did come in and shut the door. i did leave one thing out. Thats the part where I shit my own britches!
Troy


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## twissty (Jan 30, 2009)

I didnt mean to sound like I don't believe you. Just be glad it was mama and not a horny bull during the rut.

If it's ok with you, I'm going to copy this and forward it to my hunting buddies. 

This reminds me of a fire call I was on a few years ago. (I'm a volunteer in a small town FD) We were called to a brush fire near a cabin where a retired woman lives. She moved from a city to be near nature and all the "cute" animals. 

A bear decided to come through her screen porch and into her cabin one afternoon during a particularly dry spell in the summer. This being Canada, and her being from the city, she never had anything to protect herself except a flare gun. 

She shot a flare at the bear, set the bear's fur on fire, the bear retreated through the screen into the bush... setting the bush on fire. 

I hear she since took a course and bought a 12 ga. SS defender.


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## arcticsid (Jan 30, 2009)

*crazy but true*

thanks for all you volunteer FD. Gonna bury a friend tommorrow, burned up in his lil cabin trying to stay warm, the only fire service available to him was the volunteers, by the time they got there there was nothing they could do. I talked to the Chief and he said its just the way it goes, but then again, I repeat myself, IT SURE BEATS LIVING IN THE CITY! I'l take my chances. I am a commercial fisherman(deadliest catch, yeah, me), gonna take alot to put me back, not -60F,not a volcano, and damn sure not a moose in my house, though I do have to admit that is a good story, I still giggle thinking about my polish ass loking at that Mama Moose in my lil cabin. I thought of my beer first, then....I thought abought the moose. I don't think she would make a very nice date, but all in all, she kind of was respectful in my house. Try to take her home to Mom and see what happens

Thanks Again for your service, and all of those who work with you, your commitment doesn't go unrecognized!!!!
Later 
Troy
[email protected]


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## doc294 (Feb 4, 2009)

good god, I'm not sure I could handle that. Around here there aren't bears or anything...you just have to worry about the other people. I would find it very intimidating to live up north anywhere near you guys....plus too cold. It's 25F right now and I can't handle it.


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## deboardfam (Jun 15, 2010)

Hilarious... around here you have to worry about bobcats or mountain lions whatever you call them in your part of the country. Ask dad about his bobcat experiences.


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## Runningwolf (Jun 15, 2010)

deboardfam said:


> Hilarious... around here you have to worry about bobcats or mountain lions whatever you call them in your part of the country. Ask dad about his bobcat experiences.



There is a huge difference between bobcats and mountain lions. We rarely get bobcats around here. They killed a mountain lion around here about 30 years ago but again that is an extreme rarity. There are more critters around then you think, just ask grapeman. The game commission will deny it though and they have even been know to secretly introduce them to area's.


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## deboardfam (Jun 15, 2010)

LOL we werent sure which it was but a few cats went missing... then dad saw the australian shephard fighting something in the woods. It chased him out of the woods and they got a glimpse of a largish cat about the size of the dog (much skinnier of course) swatting at him. Crazyness.


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## UglyBhamGuy (Jun 15, 2010)

Leave it to Troy... there are no related links to this post. LOL


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## arcticsid (Jun 15, 2010)

We have Lynx here, they are very shy and you rarely see them in the wild, mostly in traps, but I did see one once and they are quite the site.


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## mxsteve625 (Jun 15, 2010)

Unbelievable!!! I would have had some "cleaning" to do...especially after I realized my guns weren't around. I too hunt and this would have scared the life out of me.

If you look at my advatar you'll see a Field and Stream on the coffee table and a Chocolate Lab on the floor next to a 12 pack of Bud Light. (Home brew ran out)


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## Leanne (Jun 16, 2010)

Can we keep the moose honey? Can we? Huh?


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## arcticsid (Jun 16, 2010)

No moose! I said okay to the rabbits, all 12 chickens, both goats, the armadillo, all the turtle doves, the Angus steer, the little lamb, all 6 cats, both dogs, the ferett, the iguana, i even said yes to the giraffe, God only knows where you got IT from, I even said okay to the partridges, and how are we going to get the Pear tree over here!!!!!???

NO! No Moose!!

Howevere, bring a couple carboys, if they are unavailable bring car girls, we can always use them as a valet to park cars.

LMFAO good now!!!


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## djrockinsteve (Jun 16, 2010)

I sent this story to a few friends. Troy, we could get you a spot on Letterman with this.


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## UglyBhamGuy (Jun 16, 2010)

arcticsid said:


> Howevere, bring a couple carboys, if they are unavailable bring car girls, we can always use them as a valet to park cars.



For some reason, i read this as "Call Girls". 

By-the-by, i would say no to the armadillo, they are known to carry leprosy.


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## non-grapenut (Jun 16, 2010)

how do you connect to the internet again, Troy?


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## arcticsid (Jun 16, 2010)

Wireless high speed. I have a little dih on my roof that picks up a signal from a repeater on one of the surrounding hills. it is really fast. I have only had this one(service) for a few weeks but so far I am satisfied with the results. No phone or phone company involved, in fact, I dont even have a phon!


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## non-grapenut (Jun 17, 2010)

arcticsid said:


> Wireless high speed. I have a little dih on my roof that picks up a signal from a repeater on one of the surrounding hills. it is really fast. I have only had this one(service) for a few weeks but so far I am satisfied with the results. No phone or phone company involved, in fact, I dont even have a phon!



Gotta love new technology. This is amazing. BTW, you are my hubby's hero! When he saw your Saints shirt and how u r roughing it, I and the rest of us are not the only ones that think u r da bomb.


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## arcticsid (Jun 17, 2010)

The shirt came from the dump. I am a hard core Packers fan. Who said I was roughing it. I am living it!!!! When I came here 30 yrs ago I lived way out in th wildrness. 20 miles off the road. No electricity, phone plumbimg, and then we didn't even know what the internet was. I got my school books from aplane flying over and kicking the bag out of the side.

Even then we never considered it roughing it. Just the way it was/is. Even today, there are lots and lots of people here who decide to live that subsistence lifestyle. one of the last placs in the country a person can still choose to live that way.

Sure beats the city.

Still, you flatter me!!! Come visit. Leanne and I would love to see all visitors. I have extra sleeping bags in the storage building!!!!!


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## djrockinsteve (Jun 17, 2010)

"I have extra sleeping bags in the storage building!!!!! "

Is that the building in the photo?


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## arcticsid (Jun 17, 2010)

yep. its the little one on the left


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## non-grapenut (Jun 17, 2010)

All I have to do is tell Bob the fishing there is good and we are so there. Since the oil spill here in the gulf, he's been really buggin. We live near Pensacola. In other words, you just might be seeing us soon--well, it would take 2 weeks just 2 get there.


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## arcticsid (Jun 18, 2010)

The fishing is outrageous here. Someone just caught a 350 halibut in Seward the other day. Yikes.


I am a bunny hugger at heart! I am SO SO sorry about that situation down there. I am trully speechless. I really dont know what to say. I really cry everyday when I hear of it.

We will save you and Bob a seat around the campfire. Come on up.

PM me. I will send you my email. I am serious if you are.


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## non-grapenut (Jun 18, 2010)

I discussed it last night with the man...he thinks ive gone nuts. If either of us end up losing our jobs (you know, the economy thingie) and we need to default on our mortgage or car payment, you will be seeing us it sounds like! You will know when we are coming...National City Mortgage nor BB&T bank will know, though. Checked your eco stats up there...very nice, any plenty of jobs to boot. It won't be tomorrow, Troy, but you need to know you are in our thoughts. Very tempting to be able to fly under the radar...Alaska is certainly the underground!


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## Leanne (Jun 18, 2010)

non-grapenut said:


> I discussed it last night with the man...he thinks ive gone nuts. If either of us end up losing our jobs (you know, the economy thingie) and we need to default on our mortgage or car payment, you will be seeing us it sounds like! You will know when we are coming...National City Mortgage nor BB&T bank will know, though. Checked your eco stats up there...very nice, any plenty of jobs to boot. It won't be tomorrow, Troy, but you need to know you are in our thoughts. Very tempting to be able to fly under the radar...Alaska is certainly the underground!



You would be very welcome but let us get past the honeymoon period first. LOL.


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## non-grapenut (Jun 18, 2010)

no worries, Leanne! It going to be a long time. It's just a temptation now, is all.


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## arcticsid (Jun 18, 2010)

Personally, I can resist anythingbut temptation!!! LMAO>


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## whine4wine (Jun 21, 2010)

Wow!!
How did I miss this moose story? That must have really been something.

Its a wonder it would fit through the door.

I've camped many times in the Boundary Waters Canoe Area, (large wilderness area between Minnisota and Canada...Awesome place) and I have a couple good stories of bears coming into camp,.......but a moose walking into your house....WOW

The bears in BWCA are only black bears, and most times scare off pretty easy, except for this one stubborn one, who was "false charging" us as we were trying to scare him away. They say you are supposed to just stand there and they will stop short....we didn't wait around to find out. 

You don't have to outrun the bear,,,,, just the slowest person in your party. LOL


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## arcticsid (Jun 21, 2010)

Two guys were out fishing.

Bear came up and growled.

The one guy sat down and dug out his sneakers from the pack.

His buddy said, "hey aman, you cant out run that bear"

He calmly said, "I know, but I can out run you"

LOL

But that s true, you cant outrun them.

There was a story last week about a guy in Anchorag, on a bicyclye got nailed by a grizzly bear in the bike trail!!!! Still beats living in the city!

You might be able to fin d it on this link. I know on the main page there is a sub folder for bear stuff that happens right in the city.

www.adn.com

Remeber Anchoragge is 350 miles away and there is a huge mountain range between us. Mt. McKinley is in that range. It is the tallest one in N America, and I think the 3rd tallest inthe world. Not sure. I dont climb mountains, to busy staying away from the bears.


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## arcticsid (Nov 30, 2011)

LMAO! I almost forgot I posted this thread.

What an experience that was.

Earlier this fall I was walking my bike home up a long hill on the final mile home. It was pitch black,(I can see in the dark) fairly well, then I seen a moose off to the side. I could barely see it, but could make out the ears. I was held at bay for almost 30 minutes before it let me past.

I bought a headlamp the next day!!

LOL again.


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## JohnT (Nov 30, 2011)

Well Sid, 

I do not know much about mooses (or is it Meece?), but a fast movin Chevy will sure put a hurtin on ya. LOL.


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## Larryh86GT (Nov 30, 2011)

"I VERY slowly reached for my beer with one hand"

"And so I drank one more sip of my beer"

"I was safe!!! However my beer was still inside"

Troy sure has his priorities straight eh?


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## shoebiedoo (Dec 4, 2011)

Shortly after we moved to Columbus (from Anchorage) my son was in a class discussion about something (can't remember). his contribution to the discussion was telling everyone recess got canceled once because of Moose on the play ground. The teacher did NOT believe him. So the next day...He showed her!! (this was actually our back yard but it proved his point)


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## arcticsid (Dec 4, 2011)

LOL. I am there!! A few years back I was cooking t a restaurant and dumping the lettuce scraps in my yard hoping to attract the moose for a nice picture.

I knew it was dumb as hell so I stopped. A few days later the moose showed up and was pissed I had no more treats.

She chased me up my porch and I got in the cabin and she stood on the porch and wouldnt leave.

I called the boss and he didn't believe me. I was going to be late for work.

But, I, too, had taken some pictures. So he gave me a pardon and bought me a couple cold ones.

LOL


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## shoebiedoo (Dec 4, 2011)

For those who are reading moose are VERY vicious when they feel threatened. they can be as docile as can be, then all of a sudden....BAM!!!!
I was out shoveling once when I happened to look up and found a moose was not 20 yards away from me, starring at me. Man I froze in my tracks!!!!! I didn't know what to do. I just slowly stepped back towards my house. I just about pee'd my pants I was so scared  That was about 2 weeks after that moose trample that poor Asian man at UAA.


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## arcticsid (Dec 4, 2011)

I am not certain, but I believe the asian guy was tossing rocks at it.
I lived in the "bush" for several years and infortunately have come pretty close to these Moose. Most of the time they will run away, but sometimes, especially if they have babies, they will stomp your ***. Guess when it comes down to it, it depends how you talk to them.

Now, run into a bear with babies and you may be in a bad spot. I was going to say fck'd good. If a bear gets you on the ground, it is going to most likely end up bad for you. So all you tuff guys and those with all these high powered automatic weapons still dont have a chance when a 800 pound bear is on you snarling and drooling on you as he bites into your skull and rips you apart with 8 inch nails. The best defense is a shotgun slug, and then you want to wait till it is lik 40 feet from you. If you miss, you are pretty much scrooged. A 30 caliber semi auto isnt going to help you against an 800 pound animal whos intent is to f you up. Plus there heart rate is way different, so even after its dead it is still going, It will still F you up.

Big guns mean nothing when being in the woods in some other animals home.

Knowing what you are entering is the best defense. But sometimes it doesnt always matter.

STILL beats living in the city!


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## shoebiedoo (Dec 4, 2011)

Like you said. #1 survival technique!!!!! make sure the guy you're with runs SLOWER than you


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