# 17 years of marriage over



## CowboyRam (Feb 21, 2015)

17 years of marriage has com to and end, my wife has left for Kansas. The worst is I miss my 16 year old son, her not so much.


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## sour_grapes (Feb 21, 2015)

I am very sorry for your loss, Ram. Good luck to you.


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## TemperanceOwl (Feb 21, 2015)

I'm sorry, Cowboy.


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## Runningwolf (Feb 21, 2015)

Sorry to hear this, best of luck moving forward.


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## vacuumpumpman (Feb 21, 2015)

Thank you for sharing ! 
I am glad that you did - I wish the best for you !


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## Dominic1920 (Feb 21, 2015)

You hang in there buddy....


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## dralarms (Feb 21, 2015)

Praying for the best in a bad situation.


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## the_rayway (Feb 21, 2015)

I'm sorry to hear you're going through a rough time. Hang in there!


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## Rocky (Feb 21, 2015)

You hang in there, Buddy. 

"Life begins on the other side of despair." _Jean-Paul Sartre_


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## GaDawg (Feb 21, 2015)

Hang in there, when it gets bad as it can get it can only get better.


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## HB_in_Subic (Feb 22, 2015)

Hang in there. It isn't easy but you will get through it. Maintain good contact with your boy. It will help you both get through this event.


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## bkisel (Feb 22, 2015)

Is there any chance of a reconciliation down the road? You did write that you missed her not so much. I do feel your pain in missing your son. Hang in there and if you can draw some comfort knowing that there are folks here praying for you.


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## Boatboy24 (Feb 22, 2015)

Very sorry to hear, CR.


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## Julie (Feb 22, 2015)

Sorry to hear this but hopefully some good comes out of this.


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## fabrictodyefor (Feb 22, 2015)

Sorry for your difficult situation, but keep in contact with your son and you will never loose him....

ps, do you know the Franzens?


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## CowboyRam (Feb 22, 2015)

fabrictodyefor said:


> Sorry for your difficult situation, but keep in contact with your son and you will never loose him....
> 
> ps, do you know the Franzens?



No I don't know the Franzens

I plan doing my very best at keeping contact with my son. 

I want to thank everyone for the words of encouragement. I actually feel relieved that she is gone. We have been having problems for several years. She has threaten to leave several times in the past. I was just not ready for it then, but this time I was. Here last summer she and Jonathan went back to Kansas to see her family, and part of me was hoping that she would not come back then. The hard part is she has taken Jonathan with her, and I have no idea when I may be able to see him again. The worst thing is that it puts Jonathan right in the middle of all this, and he should have to go through this. I just hope she does not poison him against me. 

Thanks again for the support.


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## Julie (Feb 22, 2015)

You need to go see an attorney right away. The first thing you need to get resolved is custody and/or visitation rights.


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## Rocky (Feb 22, 2015)

I agree with Julie. I am not an attorney but your son being 16 years old may give him considerable say in who is with, who he sees and when. The laws on "domestic litigation" (the new politically correct term for divorce) differ from state to state. In any case, make sure that your son understands that he does not have to choose sides in this matter and that he can see and love both of you and both of you love him. The issue is between you and your wife, not your son.

Above all, keep the whole thing civil. This will all pass and you will both have your son and your lives ahead of you.


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## ibglowin (Feb 22, 2015)

Cowboy,

So very sorry for your loss, and it is a loss. Went through it as well a long time ago in a galaxy far far away. A 16 year old will have a big say in their custody/living arrangement if both parents are equally qualified.


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## Runningwolf (Feb 22, 2015)

Many of us practiced once or twice before being where we are today.


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## beano (Feb 22, 2015)

CowboyRam said:


> 17 years of marriage has com to and end, my wife has left for Kansas. The worst is I miss my 16 year old son, her not so much.





CowboyRam,

This is bad news. Nothing anyone can say will help your feelings of heartbreak. 
Your son will always love you, even if he's not right beside you. Have faith!
Everything happens fo reason. I've was married twice before I met and married my third wife. Twenty years this anniversery. She is my soul mate. My previous wives have moved on and have beautiful families of there own. I still love them both. They are happy and I am as well. Thats what really matters, right? It hurts but life goes on and yours will be better as time goes on.
If I can help, please call on me!!!!

Beano Joe


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## fabrictodyefor (Feb 23, 2015)

I read your post this morning, but had to come back to encourage you to just love your son, do not fall into the trap of condemnation, it is so easy to do. My step-son's mother did the same, trashed his father (my husband). It made his teen years difficult, but he now loves his father unconditionally and his mother not so much. I will pray she put your son's needs first.

The Franzens have Powder River Rodeo Co, live outside of Riverton, and their son is a bull dogger...don't all you rodeo guys know each other!!  Just kidding.


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## CowboyRam (Feb 23, 2015)

I am not really a rodeo guy. Besides I am no originally from Riverton. I grew up in Craig Colorado.


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## olusteebus (Feb 23, 2015)

I have been there and it is tough. I look back and now realize that my hurt was mostly pride and I feared change. In a way, I wanted out also. Once we were separated, one day I looked in the mirror and even though I was hurting then, I vowed I would make a better life for myself than I had with her. I had ups and downs but I never forgot that promise to myself.

I cannot describe how successful I was in keeping that vow. Make that promise to your best friend, yourself. Always keep it in the back of your mind and always try to act and do in such a way to accomplish what you want. It will happen. 

Right now, I have to say, congratulations.

The thing with your son will most likely work itself out fine.


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## JohnT (Feb 23, 2015)

CR, 

All I can say is this.. There is no way to win! A divorce only has varied degrees of losing. The best advice is to have the goal to get this over and done just as soon as humanly possible. That should be your goal, and not "who gets what". Try your best to avoid any argument that might draw this thing out. The sooner this is over, the sooner you can get back to a happy life. 

Our prayers are with you. 

johnT.


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## vernsgal (Feb 23, 2015)

Sorry for your difficult time. 
Try and keep a good conversation with your ex. It'll help with your son 
and to quote Alexander Graham Bell, "When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us."


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## jswordy (Feb 23, 2015)

This may sound really callous right now (I hope not), but one door closes and another one opens. It's a cliche for a reason. You're probably going to go through stages of grief but always remember that the future is that door opening. Happiness lies ahead.


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## Just-a-Guy (Feb 23, 2015)

It's easy to say, and a lot harder to actually confront - but, Julie is right, see a lawyer. You will likely have to pay for an hour's consultation. But you could learn a lot. I don't know laws there, but in most states one parent cannot simply take a minor child and leave the state. I think that may even violate federal law. Please, talk to a (matrimonial) lawyer. 

And hang in there. I went through some long years of not communicating with my dad when my parents split. But we reconnected and are now very close. 

JAG


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## heatherd (Feb 23, 2015)

I am so sorry, that is terrible.
Heather


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## GaDawg (Feb 25, 2015)

Just-a-Guy said:


> It's easy to say, and a lot harder to actually confront - but, Julie is right, see a lawyer. You will likely have to pay for an hour's consultation.
> JAG



In Georgia a lawyer will not charge for the 1st consultation (he has not taken your case yet). So by all means see a lawyer! Also make it clear to your son it is not about him and you love him. Sometimes it is better to come from a broken home than to live in one.


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## Bergmann (Feb 25, 2015)

You still have your son, Simply because your wife and you have found different paths in life does not mean you are divorcing your son! Be thankful for that. Take advantage of the opportunity to connect with him. I lost my wife after 17 years, and my son, They are never coming back. Even to this day I am not quite sure my son ever knew how much I loved him. I would give all I have, all I am for a divorce. That pain can pass!


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## Just-a-Guy (Feb 25, 2015)

GaDawg said:


> In Georgia a lawyer will not charge for the 1st consultation (he has not taken your case yet). So by all means see a lawyer! Also make it clear to your son it is not about him and you love him. Sometimes it is better to come from a broken home than to live in one.




That's good to hear. In NY, most lawyers don't charge for an initial consultation (it's considered part of your marketing, more or less). But it is pretty much universal here that matrimonial lawyers do. My wife is a matrimonial lawyer (yeah, you think you have troubles...). The deal is, every time anyone gets into a fight with their spouse, the first thing they want to do is run off and talk to a lawyer. If matrimonial lawyers didn't charge for "initial consultations", it would be all they would ever do and they would all be broke.


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## Paulietivo (Feb 25, 2015)

Idk about your state but in Florida one spouse cannot leave to another state for more then 60 days without the permission of the other parent. Otherwise she would have to prove that it is better for the child in the other state and get approval through the court. Plus visiting arrangements would be at least split in half for your travel expenses. Contact an attorney asap. Good luck and let your wine fill your heart with joy. Time to upgrade your wife. Salute.


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## Thig (Feb 25, 2015)

After watching my son go through this with minor children involved let me just say put everything in writing. Verbal promises mean nothing after the ink is dry. He was gullible and trusted her to honor her word and now he is paying for it.


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## tmmii (Mar 7, 2015)

So if you don't pay for the initial consultation, what's to stop the other party from hiring them to fight against you?

Here it's $250 up front for that first hour when kids are involved.


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## BernardSmith (Mar 7, 2015)

CR, Not sure that anyone here can really say anything that will make you feel any better but I think you do need to speak with a lawyer. I agree with those who suggest that it may be illegal to move a child out of state without your permission. Your "silence" may be construed as your authorization.


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## sour_grapes (Mar 7, 2015)

tmmii said:


> So if you don't pay for the initial consultation, what's to stop the other party from hiring them to fight against you?
> 
> Here it's $250 up front for that first hour when kids are involved.



Oh, perhaps a professional code of ethics involving a conflict of interest and a possible disbarment?


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## cimbaliw (Mar 8, 2015)

Sorry to hear about your situation CowboyRam. I've never been through a divorce but know plenty who have. Here in Michigan I "believe" that at a certain age (perhaps age 13) a child can decide what parent they want to primarily live with. Your son may have a lot more say in the matter than you think. Anyway, here's hoping for the best.

BC


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## GaDawg (Mar 8, 2015)

tmmii said:


> So if you don't pay for the initial consultation, what's to stop the other party from hiring them to fight against you?
> 
> Here it's $250 up front for that first hour when kids are involved.



The other party would not know which lawyer or even if you have seen a lawyer unless you ask her for a recommendation


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## peaches9324 (Mar 8, 2015)

BernardSmith said:


> CR, Not sure that anyone here can really say anything that will make you feel any better but I think you do need to speak with a lawyer. I agree with those who suggest that it may be illegal to move a child out of state without your permission. Your "silence" may be construed as your authorization.





Yes there has to be a hearing in juvenile court in order for her to move the child and she has to prove it to benefit the child! Hire an attorney specializing in family law! Good luck to you!


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## tmmii (Mar 8, 2015)

sour_grapes said:


> Oh, perhaps a professional code of ethics involving a conflict of interest and a possible disbarment?




Sounds messy. It's common practice in higher dollar divorces to go pay for the initial consultation from every top attorney around and leave your soon to be ex with attorney fresh out of law school. Where do they draw the line on who's a client and who isn't if there is no money exchanged?


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## GaDawg (Mar 16, 2015)

tmmii said:


> Sounds messy. It's common practice in higher dollar divorces to go pay for the initial consultation from every top attorney around and leave your soon to be ex with attorney fresh out of law school. Where do they draw the line on who's a client and who isn't if there is no money exchanged?


The Atlanta Bar Association has approximately 6,300 active members


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## CowboyRam (Mar 17, 2015)

I filed yesterday.


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## vacuumpumpman (Mar 17, 2015)

good for you !
we have been thinking of you and your family in our prayers.


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## CowboyRam (Mar 17, 2015)

I want to thank everyone for all of the support.


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## jswordy (Mar 17, 2015)

Too early? 





...yeah, I know "could" was mis-spelled, but it was too good to pass up. So here's a bonus meme...


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## JohnT (Mar 18, 2015)

All kidding aside, my advice is to do whatever it takes to get this over with just as fast humanly possible. This has to be the most gut wrenching thing anyone could go through, so don't prolong it. This sooner it's over, the sooner you can get back to living your life. 

My prayers are with you..


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