# how much is too much?



## sangwitch (Jan 7, 2007)

I'm a bit reluctant to post this because of the negative light it may paintfor me so let me preface with this: I consider myself a generous person and happily give away well over half my wine to family and friends. 
Now here's the problem... lately I've been getting requests from family and friends for bottles to give to _their_ friends.On the one hand I'm flattered that they want to share with others, butI have a tendency to give away what I think are my best wines since they represent me andI do have a lot of time and money invested. My supply is dwindling fast. Is anyone else faced with this issue? I haven't said no, but I found myself feeling a bit resentful during yet another request yesterday. 


Any thoughts?
Do I just deal with it and start making even more wine? 
Maybe have a couple batches just for handing out? 


Edit: let me also say that I really _enjoy_ giving out my wine to family and friends and is part of the reason I'm in the hobby, but I also like to have some for myself. *Edited by: sangwitch *


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## Wade E (Jan 7, 2007)

If I were to be in your shoes I would probably make a few batches of
mid grade so as not to hand out any Super Tuscans oe Amarones except
for the occasional Best friend or family. Or just give George all your
money and send over a tractor trailer for all your kits to be
made.





*Edited by: wade *


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## jsmahoney (Jan 7, 2007)

I have a very small amount of bottled wine, just getting started, and I love to show my friends my new hobby, and they all seem to want to try a bottle.So, yes like you I handed out my small accumulation of wine, and requested for them to save and return the bottle. Some do and some don't remember to return the bottle. 
I haveaccumulated a lot of those small bottles,(187ml). With these bottles Ifill a few with my winesso I can taste test my wines as they age. (this way I don't have to open a large bottle and can see how it is coming along). If the smaller bottleis good, then I can open a larger bottle, if it isn't quite what I should think it should be, thenthe larger bottle is still aging.They alsomake great gifts andwhen someone asked for a bottle of your wine, I hand them the "small" bottle for a sample. They seem to bejust as pleased with the small bottle as the larger one.


I don't know if this will help you or not! Most of my friends are beer drinkers. So, the smaller bottles is just fine for them.


Otherwise, maybe you can tell them you are going to save your wine collection for the Spring or Summer and invite your friends and family for an evening of your fine wines. They of course bring a covered dish or a cheese/cracker plate.


On the other side of this! Making more wine, you get all the pleasures of this hobby!


Good Luck Sangwitch! It's a tough one!


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## jsmahoney (Jan 7, 2007)

Hey, if you take Wade's advise with the trailor full of wine kits, let us know, we can all come over and help!


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## grapeman (Jan 7, 2007)

That's a tough one Sang. You could tell them you aren't sure about the laws pertaining to giving away wine that was given to them. You can share with others, but not sure if they should share it. Tell them that to be sure, maybe they should give the hobby a try themselves. This way you could get some of them hooked on the hobby while feeling good about showing them how to do it. Then they could feel good about sharing their wine with others. It's also fun for you each to share with each other. That way you both get to try new kits.






Or you could be a Scrooge an tell them NO- they can't have any more you are too stingy!


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## Joanie (Jan 7, 2007)

Just tell them you only have enough to share with very special people in your life (them). (You don't have to tell them that you're the specialest one you know!



)
*Edited by: Joan *


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## PolishWineP (Jan 7, 2007)

Well said, Appleman!


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## smurfe (Jan 7, 2007)

I always tell them "It's not ready yet, needs to age another year." I only tell this to a few moochers that ask all the time and never return the bottles I ask for back. Other's I tell help yourself and I always get my bottles back from. I even had one person who I don't like and never liked me find out I made wine through another friend ask for some. I told them it was illegal for me to give it away.






Smurfe


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## rgecaprock (Jan 7, 2007)

I've had 3 people ask for wine for their friends. It was kind of un-nerving. I didn't know any of the people they were going to give them too. It's like they want to impress their friends by having a friend who makes wine I guess. One person though, and Indian lady sent me a meal of Indian food which was awsome. Now that was a nice appreciation!!!!


I gave everyone a bottle of wine at work for Christmas and I know that some went somewhere else. I'm only going to give it to my friends who will truly enjoy it themselves from now on.


Ramona


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## Francie (Jan 7, 2007)

I have a friend with this same situation!! She does make a few of the lower end kits for this purpose, and she also has a "donation" jar in her "Wine Room", which of course, is optional, as it is illegal to "sell" the wine. My wines are not ready for consumption yet, so just passing along what my friend does!! Perhaps a "trade out" would be a good idea. 





Francie


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## Angell Wine (Jan 7, 2007)

Have the same problem of late. I've been making them exchange something they made in return (Jelly, Cakes, Pies ect..) even scored a stain glass for a doorthe other day.


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## sangwitch (Jan 7, 2007)

jsmahoney said:


> Otherwise, maybe you can tell them you are going to save your wine collection for the Spring or Summer and invite your friends and family for an evening of your fine wines. They of course bring a covered dish or a cheese/cracker plate.




I like this idea. I'll tell them I don't have enough to give, but they canbring their friends by the house and I'll be happy to open a bottle or two and share with them. That way I'm sharing in the joy and making new friends to boot!


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## geocorn (Jan 7, 2007)

When I got started making wine, I gave away a full bottle of my wine for 5 empty bottles. That way, I was able to build up my stash of bottles and reduced the amount of wine moochers.


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## rgecaprock (Jan 7, 2007)

George,


I like that idea.....also the donation jar!!!


Ramona


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## Bill B (Jan 7, 2007)

Boy does this sound familier. As Romona said my friends tell friends they know a winemaker and so on , its getting tough. I want to be graciousbut when push comes to shove I tell them Im running low and if they would like some wine then purchase the juice or kit and when I have time I'll make it for them. Most don't respond but a few do. Of course i'll always have enough for my friends on this forum.
<DIV SuperAdBlocker_DIV_Elements="0" SuperAdBlocker_OnMove_Hooked="0" SuperAdBlocker__Hooked="0" SuperAdBlocker_DIV_FirstLook="0">Bill


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## jobe05 (Jan 7, 2007)

I have been faced with this many times over the past few months. Even my daughter called to say she was having a small party with about 8 guest, and they all loved the wine and wanted to know if I would make them each a case. I told her I was speechless and would think about it and email her a responce. I emailed her The toy store web site and told her to tell her friends to call George, order their kits and have it sent here to me, when finished, I'll send them their case of wine. Funny thing....... I never heard from any of them.


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## Wade E (Jan 7, 2007)

I dont think most people realize that selling them wine is illegal and giving out amounts like that is out of the question!


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## NorthernWinos (Jan 8, 2007)

I have had a few people ask for more, but usually am happy to give them some...they are usually my bottle or fruit suppliers, so don't mind a bit....seems most other people I give it to have given me something too....maple syrup, wild rice....or some other goodies.

Maybe when you give a bottle, tell them it is just for them, too good and 'hard to come by' to share it with anyone else...then they might realize it doesn't grow on trees...I don't think many people realize how much love and attention goes into a bottle of our own wines...

*Edited by: Northern Winos *


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## OilnH2O (Jan 8, 2007)

Sang, great question!


You know, this is the kind of ethical dilemma that can cause lots of consternation! I believea gift is something freely given, and when people start "asking"for more,that might be one thing... For example, myneighbor says to my wine gifts, "Wow, that's great!I'll take as many bottles as you want to get rid of!" To me, that's a "gift" back and the request isn't necessarily an "ask." It really makes me want to give more. On the other hand, "Wow, that's great -- could you give me more so that I can give them to others?" is a different deal. 


Think about anything that's given as a gift -- would it be appropriate for the recipient to ask for more, whether for themselves or for their friends just because their friends enjoyed the gift as well? 


Sang, to me, it's not onlyinappropriate, but unthinking at the least, and close to being outright rude. And, considering how so many people can be really unthinking these days (just think about cell-phone use!) I'd be willing to give them the benefit of the doubt, and chalk it up to never having learned how to be thankful!


However, their action or reaction should not put you on a guilt-trip! The ethical problem here is not yours -- it is really those who, at best, are not thoughtful enough to realize the magnitude of the gift!


Our colleagues have given you many ways (above) to gently say no, and there are many others as well. But in my mind, the bottom line is that _a gift is freely given_ -- if it is not, it is no longera "gift." If you feel like giving of your efforts, go ahead, regardless of to whom the gift goes. If you start giving away cases of wine, put me on the list!



But I think once you feel somehow it isn't really "freely given" it no longer is a "gift" and you should follow the Nancy Reagan philosophy: "Just say no!"


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## rgecaprock (Jan 8, 2007)

The few people I've come across who want wine to give to their friends is not about a gift it's about "Hey, I know someonewho makes wine. that makes me special, I must be a cool person, I can get all the wine you want. My friend has all you can drink, let me hook you up". Nope, no-way, and hell no. This is a new year. I've learned my lesson.


Sorry just a little rant as I have been thinking about it more today.


Ramona


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## PolishWineP (Jan 8, 2007)

Hope you're feeling better now, Ramona!




We really haven't had much trouble with the beggars. Bert has given one of his co-workers some bottles to pass on to his relatives, but that was as a treat from Bert. The co-worker didn't ask him to do it. I think that part of it for us is that we maintain a rather formal line with a lot of people who we don't know well, and it's a hard line to cross once it's established. I did have a co-worker, who I can not stand, try to get wine from me by volunteering to collect bottles from a wine tasting. I turned her down flat. I told her that our friends keep us well supplied with bottles. I would never give a bottle of wine to someone who I don't know or don't like. 

Our wines are personal; they are a part of us.We don'tjustgive away parts of ourselves to strangers and aquaintances. I guess if I got one of those "off the wall" requests I'd just say I wasn't comfortable doing that. 
(Gotten a lot of milage out ofthis question and a lot of thought about how we feel about our wines.)


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## Wade E (Jan 8, 2007)

Hey settle down over there Ramona, this is a freindly forum!


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## bmorosco (Jan 8, 2007)

YEP.......................*NO* ...............works for me too!!!!!!


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## summersolstice (Jan 9, 2007)

I'm proud of the wine I make and gladly offer the wines as gifts to loved ones and close friends, especially since I seem to be accumulatiing it at a rate far faster than it can be currently consumed. However, when a casual acquaintence or someone at work asks for some wine, I tell them I'm willing to trade. I usually request a bottle of commercial Amarone for two bottles of my home made wine. That's usually enough to discourage them and, if it doesn't, then I think that's a fair trade!


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## scotty (Jan 9, 2007)

Let me send you the recipe for my redneck special. It is designed for moochers. It doesnt taste bad either, just no where near a fine wine.


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## Coaster (Jan 9, 2007)

I have a batch of Johannesburg Riesling, it's terrible. I tell them I "was" saving it for next yearbut since they asked they can have one bottle. Those people never ask for another bottle.


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## scotty (Jan 9, 2007)

Ive fallen into a den of evil thinkers


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## Pepere (Jan 10, 2007)

I tried making a lower end wine to give awaybut.................a moocher is a moocher. I'm with OilnH2O on this one,when it ceases being a gift from the heart, or the little voice inside says: "hey wait a minute, I'm feeling used" then it's time for the magic words. "Sorry *NO!*" 








There are those of us who would share our efforts with anyone for the correct reasons and have, heck we even mail out marinade to friends but when it becomes expected and there is resentment when you do not comply, then I have a real problem. 






Ok, I'm off my soap box. Green Apple Riesling anyone?


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## scotty (Jan 10, 2007)

Actually this is a topic that serves us all well. It is good and also humorous to get input on this mooching thing.


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## peterCooper (Jan 10, 2007)

I have never been asked for wine for friends. That's 'coz I don't have any friends.



(just kidding) However I have thought about it as I presumed it would come up at some point in time.

Ramona's rant may be a little strong but I think we all have the same feelings inside whether we want to express them or not.

I decided very early on that I would be *very* agreeable to providing wine through family and friends for others. All they have to do is buy me a wine kit and the bottles, I make the wine and bottle it for them. they get 20 bottles and I keep the rest for my trouble.

Of course they have to store their 20 bottles!

I had someone give me 10lbs of Muscadines last fall. They got half the finished wine. A fair exchange in my view and in hers.


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