# Just need some moral support! ;(



## newbie2 (Aug 12, 2014)

I only started making wine in February but my husband and I have been enjoying the fruits of my labour several times a week. I've made about 12 different ones, a few kits but mostly country wines, we think of it as about a 95% rate as we like them all but the watermelon. Obviously I am still learning all the time but they taste good to me, and they are all crystal clear.

Took a bunch of bottles to a family gathering this weekend and I couldn't believe the rude comments and snobbery, I am now totally mortified. Lots of snide comments under breath and talk about too dry and needs a long finish. HUH? It's homemade wine and I like dry wine! Whatever happened to white lies. Did they have to be so brutal!!!! 

Anyone else had this? Feel so deflated now. I've got 3 wines fermenting in the kitchen and I've lost all my mojo!


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## salcoco (Aug 12, 2014)

Just look at it as jealous people not knowing what they really don't know. also this leaves more for you to drink. I would find a local wine club and bring your wine to them to judge. they will be honest without injurious remarks, and most helpful in making a better wine if needed. Keep making wine that you enjoy.


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## NorCal (Aug 12, 2014)

I equate people's opinion on wine like people's opinion on food or art. There are certain styles of art that not everyone would appreciate. That's fine, it's not your cup of tea, but that doesn't mean it's bad. I think if it turned out the way you wanted and the general consensus is that it is good, I would ignore those with poor manners.


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## Julie (Aug 12, 2014)

Look on the bright side, you now do not have to share your wine with any of those people! Don't let people like that get to you, they made it very obvious they do not know anything about wines. If it is to your liking, that is all that counts.


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## seth8530 (Aug 12, 2014)

Well, their is a difference between criticism and snobery, and some do not know how to deliver or receive either or. I have found that if I want good critique of my wine, that you send it to either an experienced home winemaker, or sometimes better yet, a very well run competition. 

That being said, as winemakers we all need to be constantly growing and developing our skills.. So keep reading, and work hard!


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## the_rayway (Aug 12, 2014)

You're doing fine, and I agree with most of the comments above! Not everything appeals to everyone, and if you like what you've made, enjoy it!

I've also found that 'wine connoisseurs' (as they like to think of themselves) tend to be somewhat closed-minded when it comes to country winemaking. Of course it doesn't taste like a grape wine - it isn't one!

Also, as Seth said, keep working and improving your skills. Toss a couple of those really great (and that watermelon too) into a box in a forgotten corner of the basement and check them out again in another year. See if they have changed, and how. It's a great learning experience.

Onwards and upwards!


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## Thig (Aug 12, 2014)

My grown son is my biggest critic. I just try to take the criticism for what it is, either they are trying to help or they are just being mean. Just keep making what YOU like. You didn't ask but you do appear to be serving very young wine if you just started in February. When I got into this I didn't even bottle my first batch until it was a year old, I sort of believe in aging in the carboy.


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## botigol (Aug 12, 2014)

Yeah, people, especially family, do that sometimes. I don't know if it is outright jealousy or an underlying competitiveness, but feelings get hurt when presenting something creative. I've been there, it hurts. As someone mentioned, you now know with whom to not share you creations.


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## newbie2 (Aug 12, 2014)

awww thanks everyone, people that understand me and my wine. I appreciate your comments it makes me feel so much better.

Sure i'm letting some age, but theres no fun if you don't get to drink it.

Thanks again, I think I need to go and drink a bottle now to drown my sorrows!

x


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## cooldood (Aug 12, 2014)

sorry but you just are not very well prepared.
Next time before a family gathering be ready for such comments
For example 

Brother: I think your wine is too sweet
you: Just like your wife. I noticed she is AWFUL sweet on your best friend TED

Sister: I think your wine needs a long finish
You: I think you need a good long F*** so you aren't so bitchy

I guarantee the comments about your wine will stop.


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## newbie2 (Aug 12, 2014)

cooldood said:


> sorry but you just are not very well prepared.
> Next time before a family gathering be ready for such comments
> For example
> 
> ...



You are so right, I just needed a fresh approach


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## JohnT (Aug 12, 2014)

For me, family is really the cornerstone behind winemaking. So far, all of my family members love it (as evident by them wanting to make more and more each year). I am truly lucky that my entire family shares the same taste in wine as I do. 

It would kill me if my family said such things to me. I can identify with how you feel. 

The big difference here is that all in my family shares the same taste in wine while your family seems to have a lot of different tastes going on. In your case, I am afraid that you will have a hard time coming up with a wine that everyone likes (either home made or commercial). 

So here is my advice... Make the wine that YOU like. 

Opinions be damned (unless they're mine of course  )


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## roger80465 (Aug 12, 2014)

I agree with all the advice given. 
A couple things to remember:

1. all your wines are very young. Remember to NOT bring the aged version to these cads. They don't deserve it. 
2. Some people aren't fans of country/sweet wines. I happen to be one of them. That doesn't make them bad wines, they just may not be my style. 

Keep making what you like and enjoy the process. Ignore the cads. They will be sad when you fail to share your 2 year old wine that won a competition. That will teach them.


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## Tom_S (Aug 12, 2014)

My wife is my biggest wine critic, other than myself of course. So I only really have to make wine to please us. But I have gotten a lot of good comments on my wine from both experienced and inexperienced wine drinkers. The only family member who said she didn't really like my wine was my wife's sister, who said that my wine was too much like real wine and not like Boone's Farm like she was used to. So that wasn't too bad a snub, though I did end up making about 10 gallons of sweet Concord for her wedding (which they did like).

But the way I see it is, anyone who doesn't like your wine won't come begging for a bottle. You get to keep it for yourself. And if we ever find ourselves in each other's company, I'd be happy to try your wine and offer you some of mine.


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## Runningwolf (Aug 12, 2014)

In the beginning make your wine for two people, you and your spouse. If you don't like it, you'll quit and if your spouse doesn't like it forget the support as you increase your bottling's. It wasn't until I had close to 400 bottles in my cellar that I started making wines with other people in mind that maybe I didn't care for but I wanted the selection. Next time you meet with the family keep in mind they like really sweet wine so only take that if you have any.

What's important to understand is do they really not like the style of your wine or is there really an issue with it. They still need some diplomacy. When I judge a competition there are some wines I don't like but that doesn't make them bad wines. Try judging a garlic wine. I judged an AWS competition that had an elderberry wine I did not like but rated it good. It ended up with best of show. The cool part was I didn't have a clue whose it was and it ended up being a member on this forum. 

I suggest you enter into some local competitions and ask other winemakers who will give you an honest opinion. Be open to what they have to say. I know a few people who love there oxidized wine.


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## BernardSmith (Aug 12, 2014)

Seems to me that you said the most important thing, Newbie2 - and that is that your husband and you are both enjoying the wine you make. If you and your spouse both take pleasure in the wines you have made then you are doing something right even if the rest of your family would prefer that your wines taste different. They are free to make or buy the wines they like just as long as you are free to continue to make the wines that you like. The only valid criticism is as Seth suggests - positive criticism. Comments that are aimed to hurt you - or anyone for that matter - are inherently wrong and and inherently useless. You can be pretty certain that Picasso was damned for his work by people who preferred he paint differently.


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## sour_grapes (Aug 13, 2014)

Feel for you, newbie.

Here is what I don't get: the complaint from a "wine snob" that your wine is too dry? Huh? Aunt Eunice, sure, but a _soi-disant _wine snob?


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## Davolous (Aug 13, 2014)

I get "this is too sweet" from wine snoobs a lot. In the end dry or sweet your never going to please everyone. 

I've had one person say my wine is to weak and just tastes like grape juice, and someone else push away a glass of the same wine away saying it was too strong.

My wife is not a wine person and doesn't like any wine I have made without turning it into sangria.

At the end of the day I try and make a wine I like.


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## vernsgal (Aug 13, 2014)

As a new wine maker you'll learn there's always the homemade snobbery. Sometimes though, with very young wines, it requires a taste. As with everyone else, I say if you're happy with it who cares. 
As Dan (Runningwolf) mentioned: sometimes it's good to get some constructive criticism though.(Not the way you received it) Ask some friends and family to politely critique your wine ,and if you agree then,try some tweaks.
Keep following posts here and you'll be happier and happier with your outcomes.


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## Tom_S (Aug 13, 2014)

sour_grapes said:


> Here is what I don't get: the complaint from a "wine snob" that your wine is too dry?



Yes, that does seem a bit odd since most "wine snobs" prefer dry over sweet. Unless he was a self-professed "wine snob" and thinks that Mogen David is top shelf.


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## corinth (Aug 13, 2014)

*just need some moral support*

Hi newbie2,

I too am 2 a rookie to wine making and I too have had people say things to me that I consider insensitive.

You have been given some great advice from these knowledgeable people on this forum.

Beyond family, there are a lot of people in our world who would be thrilled to get a bottle of your wine(self included). When you give someone a bottle of your wine, many times, you will have made their day. The bottle of wine you give to whomever out there is a gift from your heart , a gift that says, I was thinking of you. There are so many people out there who will get a bottle of wine from you and say to themselves," how did she know that this would make my day---I really needed this!" they are thrilled that you thought of them and shared a bit our yourself with them.

Thank you for making your wine and thank you for thinking of others.

Corinth


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## joeswine (Aug 13, 2014)

*And sometimes???*

I LIKE TO THINK OF MAKING WINE AS A _PERCEPTION _OF THOUGHT,IT STARTS OUT AS YOUR PERCEPTION OF WHAT YOU WANT IT TO BE ,EVOLVES INTO WHAT IT WAS MADE TO BE,AND WHEN OTHERS TASTE IT , TURNS OUT TO BE SOMETHING TOTALLY DIFFERENT THEN WHAT IT STARTED OUT TO BE! IT'S ALL A MATTER OF _PERCEPTION._


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## jkrug (Aug 16, 2014)

I believe if you are going to make wine and share with other people, you will have people that like it and some dont. Everyone has different taste. You need to develop a thick skin and take the criticism along with the praise. . My family is very opinionated and have developed that thick skin. Hang in there and don't let it get you down.


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## heatherd (Aug 16, 2014)

Be patient with yourself, have fun, and make what you like to drink. This is a hobby, not a job, so you can't possibly do it wrong.

My first batch was a cranberry Malbec that was very sweet, which came with the equipment kit my husband bought me as a gift. I wanted it ready in time for hosting book club at my house, and it was. The book club ladies are "big red" drinkers solely. I opened a few bottles and poured what turned out to be a beautiful, clear as crystal, crimson wine, and they took a polite taste but didn't finish their glasses. So I poured them out in the sink. Two years later, because of that one, they anticipate that all my wines will be similar to wine coolers instead of commercial reds. Lucky for me I don't care what anyone thinks, and I didn't like that cran-mal much either, but it represented effort and learning. So I make what I want to drink and don't wait for compliments.

That said, there are substantial numbers of people who LOVE my wine, including my hubby, some of my family, and all my friends. It took time to figure out what I wanted to make, as well, and I figured out that I wanted fewer fruity ones and lots more that are serious wines.

Anyway, keep at it!!!

Heather


Sent from my iPhone using Wine Makin


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## vacuumpumpman (Aug 16, 2014)

Like others have said - make it for your own consumption. After you able to stock up a bit then find out which style of wines your friends like and at that time decide if you want to make wine to please other peoples palate. It all changes over time - your palate may change also - like mine has .


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## cooldood (Aug 16, 2014)

If you think about it ALL wine whether Homebrewed or commercial has the same issue.
I hate sweet wine I prefer mine like my wife luke warm and bittter.

But seriously I have some Chilean wine that 70% of my friends would say is horrible but I really like it. There is no wine that everybody likes. So like everyone else says make it for you and don't worry about anyone else.


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## winegary (Aug 16, 2014)

I give family wine with the understanding that they give me honest feed back. If they don't care for it, tell me why. This way I can improve it. Fortunately they are really kind and are really good at telling me why they liked or disliked it. This has helped me make better wine, and I keep notes on the likes and dislikes. I have only made country wines so far. Don't let it get you down and keep at it.

WineGary


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## JohnT (Aug 19, 2014)

cooldood said:


> I prefer mine like my wife luke warm and bittter.


 

Gosh, I sure hope she does not read this forum! If she does, she may instead be "Hot and violent".


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## cooldood (Aug 19, 2014)

That is what u was hoping for


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## newbie2 (Aug 19, 2014)

cooldood said:


> That is what u was hoping for



Yes! Thank you everyone for making me feel better, I'm still peed off but I am simply not sharing with them in future, and I am continuing to learn and make much more wine than before, so sod the lot of em I'm not giving it up!


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## knifemaker (Aug 19, 2014)

Another thing is, that some people refuse to believe that something that is homemade and not produced by a huge winery, can possibly be good. I have a sister that says she doesn't like homemade wine, but has never tasted my wine, even though some of my wines, I think are better than anything that I can find commercially. I think that I can never convince her, because of her preconceived ideas. Their loss as far as I'm concerned. Dale.


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## richmke (Aug 20, 2014)

Try this next time:

Over the next few months, find a store wine that is similar to the wine you have made. Enjoy the store bought wine. Put your wine in the bottle (leave the wine label on the bottle), and bring that to the next family gathering.

See if your wine gets a different reception. A lot of the experience is perception. For close minded snobs, the fiction is what they need to enjoy the experience.


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## Elmer (Aug 20, 2014)

newbie2 said:


> I only started making wine in February but my husband and I have been enjoying the fruits of my labour several times a week. I've made about 12 different ones, a few kits but mostly country wines, we think of it as about a 95% rate as we like them all but the watermelon. Obviously I am still learning all the time but they taste good to me, and they are all crystal clear.
> 
> Took a bunch of bottles to a family gathering this weekend and I couldn't believe the rude comments and snobbery, I am now totally mortified. Lots of snide comments under breath and talk about too dry and needs a long finish. HUH? It's homemade wine and I like dry wine! Whatever happened to white lies. Did they have to be so brutal!!!!
> 
> Anyone else had this? Feel so deflated now. I've got 3 wines fermenting in the kitchen and I've lost all my mojo!



When I first started (making 10L kits) I encountered alot of the same remarks.
The best compliment I got was "it is drinkable" and the worst being "it was flavored water".

However I continued making wine and learned to make better wine and experiment.
I also learned to make wine that I like and make wine only for me.

I also make sure all my labels have the term "homemade" on it. This way there is no expectation that they are about to drink a $50 bottle of wine for the rolling French hills. This is wine I make in my basement!

now some people in my circle like my wine and I share with them. I always bring a bottle with me where ever I go.
Unless I go over to my buddy's house, who is a snob and never has anything good to say. He gets nothing.

As long as you are happy with what you make, than that is all that matters.


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## JohnT (Aug 20, 2014)

knifemaker said:


> Another thing is, that some people refuse to believe that something that is homemade and not produced by a huge winery, can possibly be good. I have a sister that says she doesn't like homemade wine, but has never tasted my wine, even though some of my wines, I think are better than anything that I can find commercially. I think that I can never convince her, because of her preconceived ideas. Their loss as far as I'm concerned. Dale.


 

One of my favorite episodes is when Me and My Wife attended a gathering group dinner through our church. I was asked to bring the wine. 

I never label my wine. Why go through all that trouble of scraping them off when I reuse them?? 

Well I remember glancing over at the "wine table". I saw a man in a three piece suit pick up a bottle and look for a label. I overheard him say.. "Nice wine, but I hate it when the labels fall off". 

He had no Idea!


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## Jocelyn (Sep 9, 2014)

I agree with everyone else don't share if their ungrateful about your craft. 
I started when you did all my wines are young that said so are my friends, they are also cheap no matter how terrible the wine is ( two of our have been not so great a Niagara mist that ended up with sediment, flavour was okay for what it is, and my most recent a Shiraz that has a ridiculously sour aftertaste) at some point in the evening someone will start shouting vino and the group will chime vino vino until I break out a few bottles. Occasionally someone even brings out the beer bong, perhaps if the family doesn't like the flavour they may enjoy it if you wine bonged at the next family gathering...


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## JohnT (Sep 10, 2014)

Jocelyn said:


> I agree with everyone else don't share if their ungrateful about your craft.
> I started when you did all my wines are young that said so are my friends, they are also cheap no matter how terrible the wine is ( two of our have been not so great a Niagara mist that ended up with sediment, flavour was okay for what it is, and my most recent a Shiraz that has a ridiculously sour aftertaste) at some point in the evening someone will start shouting vino and the group will chime vino vino until I break out a few bottles. Occasionally someone even brings out the beer bong, perhaps if the family doesn't like the flavour they may enjoy it if you wine bonged at the next family gathering...


 

A wine bong? Yikes!


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## Jocelyn (Sep 10, 2014)

It's essentially a funnel lol


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## Tom_S (Sep 11, 2014)

That reminds me once when I was looking for some plumbing fittings at the hardware store and this young guy was buying plastic tubing to make a beer bong.


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