# Sad times at Nabinger Family Winery



## Duster (Jul 20, 2012)

I do not know why I feel compelled to post this story other than I have made several friends on this forum and I would just like to keep them informed on what I'm currently going through.
Nine weeks ago my Dad was diagnosed with stage three cancer and was given six months or less to live. 8 weeks ago I revived a call from him asking me to please come and get him, my mother had snapped and was throwing him out of the farm house (mind you that this was a Nabinger Family Farm that she married into). I brought dad to my residence where he lived for the last 8 weeks of his life. My father passed away laying in his bed in my living room last Wednesday 7-18-2012 http://mchattonsadlerfuneralchapels.com/obit_indiv.asp?obit_id=1512. I now received papers from my mothers attorney demanding that I sign a quit claim deed to remove my name from the deed to the family farm. 
Father forgive her for, she knows not what she has done


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## Julie (Jul 20, 2012)

Duster, I am so sorry for your loss and more sorry to hear what your Mom is now doing. Please hang in there and my thoughts and prayers will be with you.


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## pjd (Jul 20, 2012)

Wow! I dont know what to say. I am glad you posted this though, there are a lot of friends here. Best of luck Duster, we will be pulling for you.


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## BobF (Jul 20, 2012)

"she knows not what she has done" might be literally true. Your father's diagnosis and death might literally be more than she can deal with. Lashing out is a common coping mechanism in times of grief. Maybe give her some space and time before you address anything legal ...

Sorry for your loss, Duster ...


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## Boatboy24 (Jul 20, 2012)

So sorry to hear what you are going through. You'll be in my prayers.


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## SarahRides (Jul 20, 2012)

I'm so sorry to hear about your losses Duster, both of your father, and of what it has done to your family. I feel the same, that I have made a lot of friends on this forum, and know that you have support here as well! As BobF said, hopefully some of these ill feelings will dissipate as the dust settles. You and your family are in our thoughts and I hope you have comfort in that you helped your father in his most needed time.


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## jeepingchick (Jul 20, 2012)

Very sorry for your loss, I know the empty words of near strangers is little help at a time like this, but truly I do sympathize with you. I lost the man I called "Dad" not even 2 months ago now. Its the hardest thing I have even been through. I send healing karma to your soul and strengthening karma to your spirit. If you need an ear to vent to just shoot me a PM


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## Rocky (Jul 20, 2012)

Duster, you have my sympathy for the loss of your Father. You have the peace of mind in knowing that you were a good son.

I am not sure of Indiana Real Estate Law, but in Ohio, signing a Quit Claim deed relinquishes all claims that you have or could have to the property. I encourage you to see an attorney before you sign anything. This could get very messy.


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## Julie (Jul 20, 2012)

Duster, 


What does your brothers and sisters say about what your Mom is dong? Is she doing this to them as well?


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## Wade E (Jul 20, 2012)

Duster, I have been there before with my MIL! She is dis-owned by everyone in her family including her son and daughter (my wife). When my wifes father died she did not want to know anything about the funeral or the ashes (we have them) nor any of the pictures from her past even pics of her father and mother. There is so much more to this story but there isnt enough room on this page to go into. Im so sorry you have to be in the middle of this and hope it doesnt het as nasty as it did here! Her sister (my wifes aunt) will be moving in with us in the new house as it has a In-law apartment on it but even she doesnt have anything to do with MIL!


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## Runningwolf (Jul 20, 2012)

Duster, I am so sorry for your loss. I agree we have all made great friends on this forum. Hang in there and and I agree with the others about seeking legal assistance.


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## vacuumpumpman (Jul 20, 2012)

Duster - We to are sorry for your loss and especially after all that you have gone thru and now this in return. We will pray for you and your mom as well -


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## Deezil (Jul 20, 2012)

After going through the experience of losing my grandfather (the one who grew the fuchsias, for those watching my wine garden thread) to mesothelioma / esophageal cancer, and losing everything he'd ever worked for, to a woman (his high school sweetheart) he married 6-weeks or so prior - in the middle of his decline - instead of the family he'd raised for 40 years... I'm talking family pictures, heirlooms (his pocket watch, his silver collection, his gun collection, his pocket knife, his fishing equipment), his house, his truck - "she" has it all... 

I can relate to the emotions behind your last sentence
Keep your chin up - remember the laughs & the things he taught you, those are the real gems in life & no one can take those away

I would do as others have said and seek legal advise before signing anything
Hopefully your mom comes back around.

Glad you felt comfortable enough here, to vent


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## winemaker_3352 (Jul 20, 2012)

Duster I am so sorry to hear this - keep your head up.


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## Midwest Vintner (Jul 21, 2012)

Wow, that is sad. 

I agree with Bob. I think she might be needing help/time.


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## 2PUPs (Jul 21, 2012)

Sorry to here about the loss of your Dad .


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## TJsBasement (Jul 21, 2012)

Duster sorry to hear all of it. Stay strong my friend.


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## Duster (Jul 21, 2012)

Thank you all for your support. I keep reminding myself that it is all material items and I am the one who received the true treasure, Dad raised me, taught me work ethics, taught me how to run a farm and work the land, How to handle cattle & horses, how to hunt & Fish but still make hay when the sun shines, how to survive when others could not, and in his passing he chose me to see for his final needs.
Those are items that I will carry with me forever and pass down to my children. No one can strip me of what matters most!



Julie said:


> Duster,
> 
> 
> What does your brothers and sisters say about what your Mom is dong? Is she doing this to them as well?



Julie, I have one younger brother in Indiana, the rest live in upstate NY. Not that that makes a difference but my whole family in upstate NY find it impractical to work the family farm and agree that I should be the one to take it. My youngest has disowned his father since getting married into money. My father and I were very close, probably the best friend I have ever had or will have again. My mothers anger is directed toward me since I am the one my dad chose to carry on his legacy.


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## g8keeper (Jul 21, 2012)

duster, i also feel that i have made a lot of friends here, and my sympathies truly go out to you and your family in this time of need...as others have stated, my prayers are with you as well....


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## Julie (Jul 21, 2012)

Duster said:


> Thank you all for your support. I keep reminding myself that it is all material items and I am the one who received the true treasure, Dad raised me, taught me work ethics, taught me how to run a farm and work the land, How to handle cattle & horses, how to hunt & Fish but still make hay when the sun shines, how to survive when others could not, and in his passing he chose me to see for his final needs.
> Those are items that I will carry with me forever and pass down to my children. No one can strip me of what matters most!
> 
> 
> ...


 
I am glad to hear that your siblings are not against you. You are right you have a lot of good memories and no one can take that from you. It is a shame about your Mom. Hang in there and like others have said seek legal counsel but don't be angry with her for what she is doing, her day will come.


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## Redtrk (Jul 21, 2012)

Duster my prayers are with you through this. I agree with many that you should seek legal advice and make sure that you have a very good lawyer. 

I'm fighting a similar battle here with my dad who now lives in Florida and has gotten remarried to what me and my brothers call a gold digger.


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## JohnT (Jul 24, 2012)

Duster, 

So sorry for your loss. 

At this point, the only question you should be asking yourself is this: What would your father want you to do? 

If that is to take over the farm, then that is what you should do!


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## kevinlfifer (Jul 24, 2012)

Duster, 
My sympathies and prayers are with you, I lost my dad 2 yrs now. It gets a little easier but not much, so hang In there.

A very wise man, the wine critic for the Toledo Blade, the priest that married my wife and I, and a very good friend, Father Robert Kirtland, once told us (this was when my wifes parents were terminal) "after a difficult and personal loss, don"t make any major decisions for at least six months" I have found that to be very good advice.
Hope it helps a bit.

Hang in there, and take the high road.


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