Do you have a middle child?

[JohnT]

Do you have a middle child.?

If you do, take some time to go out of your way to make them feel that they're special.
I recently lost my father, only to find out just how little they thought of me.

It would not have taken much of anything to this side of nothing to make me feel special.

My parents chose to not make any kind of effort at all. I cannot tell you how painful this experience has been.

I say again if you have a middle child make the smallest effort so that they feel loved and special. You'll make all the difference in their life.

 

[Julie]

I do since the day he was born. Lol, my daughter, the baby in the family, use to say I favored Steve, the middle child, more than her or my oldest son! Thank you John for posting this!

 

[vacuumpumpman]

@johnT
My parents divorced after 50 years of marriage - my mother decided to live with my family. It was quite challenging at times - she is a type 1 diabetic, Which meant i had to learn all about it and alot more - and my brother did not have to worry about anything that was going on.

Well we found a nice assisted living facility that she really enjoys - but my brother and his side has issues with that - even though they wanted nothing to do with from the start,

Now I am an outcast with everyone except my mother - But she knows that she is being taken care of and I go and see her all the time and take her to all her doctor appointments

It is not an easy thing to discuss it to my father - who looks down on me - even though I try to do the BEST . It is very difficult to be in this situation - or any similar one

 

[sour_grapes]

John,

I am so sorry you have experienced this pain (and are still suffering). Obviously, I don't know the details, but I wish you peace in dealing with this.

Best,
Paul -- (the spoiled youngest!)


@Julie : Good on you! Sounds like you played it right!

Steve: Ooooh, boy. Sounds tough. Best of luck on dealing with your situation.

 

[jgmann67]

Amazing how much baggage we carry around most of our lives and still function.

 

[cmason1957]

I don't have a middle child, just two of them. I have always gone out of my way to tell each of them, when the other isn't around that they are my favorite. And try to show them that via my actions. I to am a muffle child and often suffer from the same things as you John.

One thing I did learn over these years, they did the best they could and are only human. Perhaps they felt you were the strongest and needed the least. You are in a tough situation.

 

[Boatboy24]

Sorry you've had to go through that, John.

 

[wineforfun]

I have an oldest, middle and youngest. I treat them all the same, they are all my children.
Now they may think differently, but that always seems to be the case when having multiple children.

 

[AoifeLuC]

My grandmother was a fair woman. She had 5 children and 2 children from her husbands first marriage. Back then one Could spank children. When one decided to lie about doing a mis deed...she spanked all seven. They soon learned to check and make sure all was towing the line. . . they still had mishaps but no more lying as the others would come behind her and take hold of the issue .

 

[ibglowin]

So sorry to hear about this John especially in light of the fact that we knew how much you cared for your dad.

Maybe I am an anomaly but I am the middle child (older brother, younger sister) and I turned out to be the favorite. I think the bar was set low in my case by my other siblings. LOL

OTOH Mrs IB was the last of three children in about 30 months or so and her dad actually told her one day that they should have stopped at two when she was around 10 years old...... Her parents divorced shortly after that (hard to believe I know)

I hope you can at some point "let it go" and remember just the good moments you both shared these last few years together.

This week (tomorrow actually) marks the one year anniversary since I lost my dad. I miss him so much and like many folks long to spend just one more day with him back when he was healthy and not sick.

Do you have a middle child.?

If you do, take some time to go out of your way to make them feel that they're special.
I recently lost my father, only to find out just how little they thought of me.

It would not have taken much of anything to this side of nothing to make me feel special.

My parents chose to not make any kind of effort at all. I cannot tell you how painful this experience has been.

I say again if you have a middle child make the smallest effort so that they feel loved and special. You'll make all the difference in their life.

 

[heatherd]

@JohnT that is awful. I'm so sorry for you. I don't understand how parents can be so hurtful to their children.

I'm an only, and my daughter is an only so we let her know she is the best kid in the universe. My husband is the youngest of three and he is super self-sufficient because his parents were both working.

 

[vacuumpumpman]

@JohnT -
I was on my own pity pot last night, sorry for not addressing your concerns directly.

It so easy to say = I know what you are going thru - but no one really know except the person going thru it. I had a emotional melt down last night, after thinking of your story, relating it to mine.

I know I can not change people,places,and things - but I can change how I deal with situations. Because of this , I make sure that both of my kids know that I love them and we spend alot of time together as a family.

My heart and prayers go out to you and your entire family !

 

[Mismost]

I am a middle child who grew up with just my father. Good Dad, but he treated my brother and I very differently. Growing up we all knew that too.... just the way it was.

Always kind of bugged me. When I came home from the Army, I asked Dad about it. He said he knew he had treated us differently. He explained that I was stubborn and hardheaded, he knew I need to learn to bend. While brother was meeker and needed to learn to stand taller. He was correct on both accounts. I thought he was pretty smart, then he told me my Grandmother, Mom's mother told him to raise us like that! Smart woman.

I only have one child. Frankly, I struggled, I did not find it easy as some folks do. Dad told me the same thing about raising us boys. I think most of try to do the best we can with our kids.

John, I can't speak to your situation. I will tell you this, if you have regrets, then you are living in the past....you have no control there. Turn around and face the future. It is there you will find control and happiness Brother.