Early morning brain fart…

[JohnT]

OK,

Here is a sure fire way to deal with this..

Take out all of your life savings, preferably any funds that the wife has earmarked for something special.

Head to the nearest BMW dealership and purchase a really nice 2 seat convertible.

Once out of the dealership, pick up a hooker and head straight home.

Once home, be sure to crash your new BMW into the house, preferably taking out the wine stained wall.

Trust me. When your wife sees the new BMW, the hooker, and the damage done to the house, she will not give an gnat's fart about the cookbook!

 

[sour_grapes]

John, that reminds me of this old chestnut:

He left home about 8:30 a.m. to play golf with his friends. On the way out the door he answered his wife's "what time will you be home?" question with "probably about 1:30. I'll have lunch at the club."

1:30 came & went, 3:00 passed, 6:15, still not home, finally at about 7:00pm he rolls in the driveway, leaves his clubs in the garage, and presents his wife with a pizza, and begins the apologetic story: "We finished our game about 11:30, had lunch, and I started home, when alongside the road I saw this attractive girl with a flat tire on her car. I stopped to help, got the tire changed, and looked around for a place to wash my hands. She offered me some money, but I refused, so she suggested that I at least allow her to buy me a beer. She said there's a tavern just up the road, and they have a restroom, you can clean up a bit. I agreed to stop, we had a beer, then another beer, then a couple more, and I realized that this girl was not only pretty, she was very friendly, and a good companion to spend time with. Before I knew it, one thing led to another, and we were in the motel next door having sex. And that is why I am so late getting home."
His wife looked him in the eye and said "Don't try to fool me, you lying S.O.B: you played 36 holes, didn't you?"