We back sweeten our wines to a particular SG, after years of going by taste. So now after so many years we know we like our meads at 1.005, our mango wines at 1.010, etc. As others have said, fruit flavor, acidity, alcohol and other factors will affect your perception of sweetness. But if you have a familiar recipe you can certainly make an educated guess using SG.
I agree with others that a very hot mead is not very tasty...maybe after many years it will mellow out, but it does taste like rocket fuel above 14% alcohol (my opinion and threshold obviously). I also agree if you want control, the only thing to do is use your OG to dictate the alcohol content and go dry, then back sweeten.
Something we do with our ports is multiple feedings until the yeast die out at about 18% to 20% alcohol. We record the measurements along the way so we know what the final alcohol content is (roughly), and we add smaller amounts near the end to keep it around 5% of what we think we'll want the sweetness to be. It's definitely not precise though (and with ports we know we'll be going fairly sweet)