Friday morn as we were getting into our truck to go shopping we got the call that Lori’s father had passed away overnight. While we knew it was coming sometime soon it was still a little bit of a jarring moment. We loaded some clothes and made it over to Lave Havasu City in under four hours to be with her mom. Hospice was there with Lori’s mom, at 4:00am, when he died and did what hospice is so deservedly known for, helping her through the hardest moments. Because this has been coming for a few years, plans were in place and one phone call put everything in motion that’s needed to deal with a home death.
Lori and Gail (MIL) and I are doing surprisingly well. Chuck “Charlie Brown” (real name, no kidding) the father, husband and man I’d first met when I was an intimidated 16 year old had faded away over the last 10 months leaving a confused, scared and weakened 86 year old body in his place. That body lacked most of the emotions or mental abilities to draw and function on a lifetime of experience or memories. Suspicion, paranoia, hallucinations and fear replaced the confidence that defined his prior day to day life. I’m so glad that he somehow remembered the three of us until the end even if names were a bit of a challenge at times.
Spending a couple of days reminiscing, laughing, sharing thoughts and memories seemed to get us through the weekend. Most of our crying and sadnesses happened months ago. He’s finally done with the cruelness of dementia and the effects that spill over on anyone near and dear. Gail can finally sleep through the night and get real rest again. She can go to a restaurant, Dr’s appt. or just take a 5 minute phone call without fear of what might happen with Chuck. The toll on the caregivers is heavy as a few of you know. Lori’s memory of her father can reset to the strong and loving man he was. I’m just glad that the man who was like a second dad to me is at peace.
Needed to ramble a bit, Lori and I are half way out of parents now………. love them if you have them…….
Lori and Gail (MIL) and I are doing surprisingly well. Chuck “Charlie Brown” (real name, no kidding) the father, husband and man I’d first met when I was an intimidated 16 year old had faded away over the last 10 months leaving a confused, scared and weakened 86 year old body in his place. That body lacked most of the emotions or mental abilities to draw and function on a lifetime of experience or memories. Suspicion, paranoia, hallucinations and fear replaced the confidence that defined his prior day to day life. I’m so glad that he somehow remembered the three of us until the end even if names were a bit of a challenge at times.
Spending a couple of days reminiscing, laughing, sharing thoughts and memories seemed to get us through the weekend. Most of our crying and sadnesses happened months ago. He’s finally done with the cruelness of dementia and the effects that spill over on anyone near and dear. Gail can finally sleep through the night and get real rest again. She can go to a restaurant, Dr’s appt. or just take a 5 minute phone call without fear of what might happen with Chuck. The toll on the caregivers is heavy as a few of you know. Lori’s memory of her father can reset to the strong and loving man he was. I’m just glad that the man who was like a second dad to me is at peace.
Needed to ramble a bit, Lori and I are half way out of parents now………. love them if you have them…….
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