This is an oldie, but appropriate for this Winter!
Dear Diary...
August 15 - Moved to our new home in Shrewsbury, Massachusetts. It's so
beautiful here. The lake to the north looks so majestic. I can hardly
wait to see it snow covered. I'm going to love it here!
October 14 - Massachusetts is definitely the most beautiful place on
earth. The leaves have turned all the colors and shades of red and
orange. Went for a ride through the park and saw some deer. They are so
graceful. Certainly they are the most wonderful animals on earth. This
must be paradise, I LOVE IT HERE!!
November 10 - Deer season will start soon. I can't imagine anyone
wanting to kill such a gorgeous animal. Hope it will snow soon. I love
it here. Those red and orange leaves have covered my yard. Looks like a
magnificent multi-colored carpet. HOW BEAUTIFUL. Raking and cleaning up
the yard will be an opportunity for invigorating exercise in the cool
crisp air.
November 15 - Ah, more leaves and more exercise.
November 18 - Jesus, still more leaves. Guess it's best to wait until
they've all fallen before I rake again.
November 25 - Finally, all of the trees lost their leaves and with
today's final raking it's over for this season. Chiropractor suggested
I use a lawn maintenance service next year. Only four blisters became
infected. Should probably remember to use gloves.
November 30 - What the f...? Where did all of those leaves come from?
Had a little wind last night and the lawn is covered again. Oh well,
they'll just have to wait until spring.
December 12 - It snowed last night, FINALLY. Woke up to find everything
blanketed in white. It looks like a postcard. We went outside and
cleaned the snow off the steps and shoveled the driveway. Had a
snowball fight (I won) and when the snowplow came by and we had to
shovel the end of the driveway again. What a beautiful place.
Massachusetts!
December 14 - More snow last night, I love it. The snow plow did his
trick to the driveway again. I Love it here.
December 19 - More snow again last night. Can't get out of the
driveway. Can't to get to work. I'm exhausted from shoveling. F...ing
snowplow.
December 22 - More of that white crap fell again last night. As if
dealing with the leaves weren't bad enough, now I've got blisters all
over my hands from shoveling, must remember to wear gloves. I think the
snowplow hides around the corner and waits until I'm finished shoveling
the driveway. The butt hole.
December 25 - Merry F...ing Christmas. More frigging snow. If I ever
get my hands on that SOB who drives the snowplow, I swear
I'll kill him. Don't know why they don't use more salt on the
roads to melt the f...ing ice.
December 27 - More white crap last night. Have been inside for three
days except for shoveling out the driveway after that plow goes through
every time. F...ing gloves got wet and then froze on my hands.
Doctor said it was just a mild case of frost bite, disfiguration is
probably only temporary. Can't go anywhere, car is stuck in a mountain
of white crap. The weatherman says to expect another 10 inches of the
stuff tonight. Do you know how many shovels full of snow 10 inches is?
December 28 - The f...ing weatherman was wrong. We got 34 inches of
that white crap. At this rate it won't melt 'till summer. The plow got stuck
up the road and the jerk came to the door and asked to borrow a shovel.
After I told him I'd already broken six of them shoveling all the crap he
pushed into the driveway, I broke my last one on his f...ing head.
January 4 - Finally got out of the house today. Went to the store to
get food and on the way back I hit a frigging deer that ran in front of
my car. Did about $3000 damage. F...ing beasts should be killed. Wish
the hunters had killed them all last November.
May 3 - Took the car to the garage in town. The thing is rusting out
from all the f...ing salt they put all over the roads.
May 10 - Moved to Naples Florida. I can't imagine why anyone in their
right mind would ever live in that God forsaken state of Massachusetts!
Dear Diary...
August 15 - Moved to our new home in Shrewsbury, Massachusetts. It's so
beautiful here. The lake to the north looks so majestic. I can hardly
wait to see it snow covered. I'm going to love it here!
October 14 - Massachusetts is definitely the most beautiful place on
earth. The leaves have turned all the colors and shades of red and
orange. Went for a ride through the park and saw some deer. They are so
graceful. Certainly they are the most wonderful animals on earth. This
must be paradise, I LOVE IT HERE!!
November 10 - Deer season will start soon. I can't imagine anyone
wanting to kill such a gorgeous animal. Hope it will snow soon. I love
it here. Those red and orange leaves have covered my yard. Looks like a
magnificent multi-colored carpet. HOW BEAUTIFUL. Raking and cleaning up
the yard will be an opportunity for invigorating exercise in the cool
crisp air.
November 15 - Ah, more leaves and more exercise.
November 18 - Jesus, still more leaves. Guess it's best to wait until
they've all fallen before I rake again.
November 25 - Finally, all of the trees lost their leaves and with
today's final raking it's over for this season. Chiropractor suggested
I use a lawn maintenance service next year. Only four blisters became
infected. Should probably remember to use gloves.
November 30 - What the f...? Where did all of those leaves come from?
Had a little wind last night and the lawn is covered again. Oh well,
they'll just have to wait until spring.
December 12 - It snowed last night, FINALLY. Woke up to find everything
blanketed in white. It looks like a postcard. We went outside and
cleaned the snow off the steps and shoveled the driveway. Had a
snowball fight (I won) and when the snowplow came by and we had to
shovel the end of the driveway again. What a beautiful place.
Massachusetts!
December 14 - More snow last night, I love it. The snow plow did his
trick to the driveway again. I Love it here.
December 19 - More snow again last night. Can't get out of the
driveway. Can't to get to work. I'm exhausted from shoveling. F...ing
snowplow.
December 22 - More of that white crap fell again last night. As if
dealing with the leaves weren't bad enough, now I've got blisters all
over my hands from shoveling, must remember to wear gloves. I think the
snowplow hides around the corner and waits until I'm finished shoveling
the driveway. The butt hole.
December 25 - Merry F...ing Christmas. More frigging snow. If I ever
get my hands on that SOB who drives the snowplow, I swear
I'll kill him. Don't know why they don't use more salt on the
roads to melt the f...ing ice.
December 27 - More white crap last night. Have been inside for three
days except for shoveling out the driveway after that plow goes through
every time. F...ing gloves got wet and then froze on my hands.
Doctor said it was just a mild case of frost bite, disfiguration is
probably only temporary. Can't go anywhere, car is stuck in a mountain
of white crap. The weatherman says to expect another 10 inches of the
stuff tonight. Do you know how many shovels full of snow 10 inches is?
December 28 - The f...ing weatherman was wrong. We got 34 inches of
that white crap. At this rate it won't melt 'till summer. The plow got stuck
up the road and the jerk came to the door and asked to borrow a shovel.
After I told him I'd already broken six of them shoveling all the crap he
pushed into the driveway, I broke my last one on his f...ing head.
January 4 - Finally got out of the house today. Went to the store to
get food and on the way back I hit a frigging deer that ran in front of
my car. Did about $3000 damage. F...ing beasts should be killed. Wish
the hunters had killed them all last November.
May 3 - Took the car to the garage in town. The thing is rusting out
from all the f...ing salt they put all over the roads.
May 10 - Moved to Naples Florida. I can't imagine why anyone in their
right mind would ever live in that God forsaken state of Massachusetts!
