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Love to cook you breakfast in that, but the Admiral don't allow me to use cast iron on the glass top stove. I'm ready to go back to an old fashioned wood fired at this point.

In all seriousness, one route to marital harmony may be a single induction "burner." Something like this is less than $100 and can sear the pants off a steak: Single Induction Burner
 
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Question
Should I have a baby after 35?
Answer
No, 35 children are enough.
Question
I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
Answer
With any luck, right after he finishes college.
Question
What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
Answer
Childbirth.
Question
My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.
Answer
So what's your question?
Question
My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
Answer
Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.
Question
When is the best time to get an epidural?
Answer
Right after you find out you're pregnant.
Question
Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
Answer
Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.
Question
Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
Answer
Yes, pregnancy.
Question
Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
Answer
When the kids are in college.
 

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