arcticsid
Arctic Contributor
- Joined
- Oct 26, 2008
- Messages
- 4,203
- Reaction score
- 65
Pretty quiet in here the last couple days and I don't have anything to liven yall up. I do have something however to share with you. I came back a couple hours ago from "inspecting" the lil old shack out back and I seen "Mama Moose", I aint seen here in a couple months. As much of a pain as she is I was kinda wondering if she was okay. Been pretty cold around here. Gonna be -40F again tonight. Having said that... this is the story from last fall.
I guess it was like October, and I was sitting at my desk, minding my own business. My cabin is small and the door opens in. That time of year I keep the door wide open trying to celebrate what is left of summer. When I heard footsteps on the porch, I was sure it was a friend coming to visit, and so I turned to greet him/her. It was a her, but it wasn't what I expected, it was the Mama Moose, that had been terrorizing the garden all summer (she wasn't a friend)!
My desk is on the opposite side of the cabin door and I realized I needed to make some decisions, fast!!
In a matter of a split second she went right for the cat dish and began to help herself. I knew I would have to shoot her, even though I would then have an 800 lb moose dead as a doornail in my little cabin, and even dead I would not beable to keep it. It would go to charity. By the time they came to retrieve it, it would begin to stink., but I realized shooting her was what I would have to do.
Only problem was my rifle was next to the door Mama Moose had just entered, and my pistol was on the table outside. Then I began to consider my options.
I was trying to be reasonable when I stood up to confront her, she din't feel the same. The ears went back, the hair on her back went up, and that 800 lb ass swung just enough to close the door. And so here I was, with an 800lb Mama Moose and me, stuck in this lil cabin.(funny now, not then)
I VERY slowly reached for my beer with one hand and the phone with the other. I was gonna call the neighbor, then I remebered he doesn't like me, so I called my buddy Dwayne, I explained my most unusual circumstance, he didn't belive me and hung up.
I looked for my cats, figuring they would be like a dog and protect me in some way. Nothin doin. Took me almost a month to get Curly Q from out back of the sofa.
Thought about screaming like a tourist, but then figured anyone who would have heard me would have figured me and mine had found a new way to celebrate. I don't particularly like to involve the cops, but I did call the Alaska State Troopers(who are also our Fish and Game) The lady DID NOT believe me and said I could be charged for this type of a call. No ****!!!!
I was gonna call my Ma, but she may as well be the Trooper dispatch, no way she would had believed me. And besides she was thousands of miles away. And so I drank one more sip of my beer and pondered life with an 800lb Mama Moose in my house and noone to help me. I looked at the window behind me, but it was blocked by "stuff", can't get her excited.
By now I am really trippin(can I say that here?)out and within moment this big ole moose proceeded to plop her ass right on my floor and decides to nap.
I called the Troopers back and insist they send me some help. The gal must have knew I wasn't bullshitting this time and said she would send a trooper out.
And so I waited, and waited, and between the beer and the nervousness(is freaken-out-ness a word?) I had to pee, and I waited, and I looked at this big flippin Mama Moose napping on my floor, bout 15 or 20 mins later I had seen no Troopers. I had to make a decision. I had to make it past the Moose.
I sucked in my breath and I crept like an Indian, with the stealth I had observed from my cats, the same ones who were now hiding under the couch and one that was stuck to the cieling, and I managed to get to the door.
I opened it and ran out. I was safe!!! However my beer was still inside, and so was the Mama Moose, and the brave feline companions. I damn sure didn't want to but I went to the picnic table and grab my pistol. I asked Mama Moose one more time to please leave. She gulped the last of the cat food from their dish and wandered back out the door and down the steps, then she turned to me with that .44 pointed right at her and she thanked me.
She wandered off to the woods and I just wandered around. I just thank God it wasn't a bear, because that glass in the window would have cut the livin daylight outta me when I jumped through it.
So there.
Troy
I guess it was like October, and I was sitting at my desk, minding my own business. My cabin is small and the door opens in. That time of year I keep the door wide open trying to celebrate what is left of summer. When I heard footsteps on the porch, I was sure it was a friend coming to visit, and so I turned to greet him/her. It was a her, but it wasn't what I expected, it was the Mama Moose, that had been terrorizing the garden all summer (she wasn't a friend)!
My desk is on the opposite side of the cabin door and I realized I needed to make some decisions, fast!!
In a matter of a split second she went right for the cat dish and began to help herself. I knew I would have to shoot her, even though I would then have an 800 lb moose dead as a doornail in my little cabin, and even dead I would not beable to keep it. It would go to charity. By the time they came to retrieve it, it would begin to stink., but I realized shooting her was what I would have to do.
Only problem was my rifle was next to the door Mama Moose had just entered, and my pistol was on the table outside. Then I began to consider my options.
I was trying to be reasonable when I stood up to confront her, she din't feel the same. The ears went back, the hair on her back went up, and that 800 lb ass swung just enough to close the door. And so here I was, with an 800lb Mama Moose and me, stuck in this lil cabin.(funny now, not then)
I VERY slowly reached for my beer with one hand and the phone with the other. I was gonna call the neighbor, then I remebered he doesn't like me, so I called my buddy Dwayne, I explained my most unusual circumstance, he didn't belive me and hung up.
I looked for my cats, figuring they would be like a dog and protect me in some way. Nothin doin. Took me almost a month to get Curly Q from out back of the sofa.
Thought about screaming like a tourist, but then figured anyone who would have heard me would have figured me and mine had found a new way to celebrate. I don't particularly like to involve the cops, but I did call the Alaska State Troopers(who are also our Fish and Game) The lady DID NOT believe me and said I could be charged for this type of a call. No ****!!!!
I was gonna call my Ma, but she may as well be the Trooper dispatch, no way she would had believed me. And besides she was thousands of miles away. And so I drank one more sip of my beer and pondered life with an 800lb Mama Moose in my house and noone to help me. I looked at the window behind me, but it was blocked by "stuff", can't get her excited.
By now I am really trippin(can I say that here?)out and within moment this big ole moose proceeded to plop her ass right on my floor and decides to nap.
I called the Troopers back and insist they send me some help. The gal must have knew I wasn't bullshitting this time and said she would send a trooper out.
And so I waited, and waited, and between the beer and the nervousness(is freaken-out-ness a word?) I had to pee, and I waited, and I looked at this big flippin Mama Moose napping on my floor, bout 15 or 20 mins later I had seen no Troopers. I had to make a decision. I had to make it past the Moose.
I sucked in my breath and I crept like an Indian, with the stealth I had observed from my cats, the same ones who were now hiding under the couch and one that was stuck to the cieling, and I managed to get to the door.
I opened it and ran out. I was safe!!! However my beer was still inside, and so was the Mama Moose, and the brave feline companions. I damn sure didn't want to but I went to the picnic table and grab my pistol. I asked Mama Moose one more time to please leave. She gulped the last of the cat food from their dish and wandered back out the door and down the steps, then she turned to me with that .44 pointed right at her and she thanked me.
She wandered off to the woods and I just wandered around. I just thank God it wasn't a bear, because that glass in the window would have cut the livin daylight outta me when I jumped through it.
So there.
Troy